We got up and quickly made our way to Houston and to the bed and napped for a couple of hours before waking up. Everything just perfectly fell into place and though she’d swore to be out by six, she was there the rest of the day as we cuddled, kissed, and talked. We talked a lot. As time progressed, our talking became much more serious.

Also, in scary moments of peaceful silence, I started really wondering where we were going with this and it was getting more and more difficult for me to silence my mind. At some point, my guard had just completely fallen and I started really feeling like I didn't want her to go. I never ever wanted her to go. I don't recall the last time I felt that way about anyone. At around ten or so, I started trying to figure out how I was going to say something. Less than five minutes later, she came out and asked me what was going on. We decided that we didn’t want to ruin an absolutely perfect day, so we waited until after midnight. At about ten after, I asked “So what are we going to do?”

She didn’t say anything for a couple of very long minutes. In a way, that was a good answer. I was afraid she'd say something to the effect of "Well, I go back to Louisiana then move to Idaho. I want to stay in touch, so please email me. I'll respond when I can. 'When I can' being the operative phrase." She then said she wasn't avoiding the question, she was just trying to figure out the answer. That was all I needed to know. In my mind, I knew where this was headed.

She was a medical resident en route to Idaho. I was an unemployed techie in a very anemic economy in a town with a particularly bad job market. The chances were good that in a year's time I'd be leaving Houston anyway. Of course, Idaho would not be on my list of top 49 states that I'd like to ive in, but I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind even before the subject really came up.

We talked a little bit about Idaho, determined that we needed more information, then the conversation drifted on to other things. We finally resolved to go to sleep at about four to get up at six to leave hastily in order to beat US59 traffic. She got up and we talked some more, she didn’t beat traffic, so she waited until ten and then we finally made our way out.

We said some sappy but very sincere things to one another out by her car. We talked about what we were going to do until we could talk again. She said, "We can make this work."

All I could reply was "I hope so." She wasn’t entirely satisfied by that, but I couldn’t outright lie and tell her that I knew I’d be able to find work in a state with a population 1/4 the size of the Houston metropolitan area, much less a town competing for the honor of being the second largest city in said state.

I started looking up information when I got back and what I found was not good. The local newspaper had only a handful of job listings, one of which in my field and a couple out of it that I might be qualified for. I looked up Idaho State’s web site and it doesn’t even have an employment page. The local school district was hiring janitors and teachers, but that was about it. Nothing about alternative certification. I looked up other towns in a three hour radius and found a couple rather large ones, but they were both over two hours away.

I started drafting up plans to move up there regardless and have what’s possible more or less pegged down. It comprised of spending six more months here and talking via email and phone, six months of moving up there, digging into my savings somewhat and trying to find work. Absent finding enough work to live independently, possibly moving in with her and biding my time with what work I could nail down and by supporting her domestically (cooking and so on).

I sent her a rather sober email and didn't get a reply for a couple of days. She was on the road with her folks, so absent finding a library to log on at, she was unable to write back. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was that everything was going to dissipate with time and distance that should have been there wasn't. If was four long days before she was able to get back to me. I'd all but stopped posting on any of my blogs. My world was hinging on what was going through the mind of a person I couldn't talk to. Even though I wanted to tell myself "easy come, easy go" I really couldn't. I couldn't post what was going on in my mind, and absent that, I didn't have anything to say. When my leave became conspicuous and Kevin asked if everything was alright, I found a post that I had started and never finished about letting oneself go and finished it. Once I found my voice, I just kept writing because it was easier than waiting.

My biggest fear during The Wait was that she'd have a "crash." I had something of an odd experience in which me and this girl I had previously dated both lost our minds. The long and short of it was that if it had taken off, we'd be married today. Fortunately, for both of us, there came The Crash. The Crash was the moment we respectively realized how insane our talk was. We weren't talking at the time, but I was so disturbed that I could barely eat while she, on the other hand, was busy backing out of it. By the time she told me, I was more than relieved.

My fear was that Camille might be due for a crash. This entire thing was about as crazy as the incident that spawned the term. Neither Camille nor I are the risk-taking type when it comes to this sort of thing. We're both level-headed and realistic at our core. There were so many potential problems. But for me, it just seemed to right to ignore. I felt that if I didn't do this, I really might look back at it five years down the road as the biggest mistake of my life. But what was she thinking? I could think of a million reasons why she wasn't able to email or call, but it could be The Crash. Who knew for certain?

Then she wrote back. There was no crash.