23 Things To Do In Oklahoma

Disclaimer: In a break with tradition, I am not giving everyone a pseudonym, but in a couple (pretty obvious) cases, the below is more true than factually accurate.

Links in the Table of Contents area take you down to a specific item. Naturally, I recommend you read it all.

1. Make lists all the way up on all the ways you failed to prepare and make lists before you left. (A,B,C,D,E,F)
2. Change camping grounds, suddenly gain three brothers.
3. Become married in a mutual partnership (as defined by Hawaiian law, sweetheart) without actually going to Hawaii.
4. Remember that everyone who knows of you on this trip thinks you don't smoke anymore. Remind them one by one that you still do. Absorb sense of disappointment.
5. Gain new sidekick (or become sidekick, depending on your perspective).
6. Get sugar craving at three in the morning, have no sugar available anywhere.
7. See man who may be a crazy stalker while searching for sugar, but just go back into your tent and fall fast asleep again.
8. Wake up, meet someone new (sort of), insert foot into mouth.
9. Learn Spanish and teach someone more English.
10. Get wet without swimming
11. Learn the physics of paddling. Relearn. Relearn. Repeat process.
12. Consider the anthropological mechanics of male and female urination habits.
14. Democratize someone into (almost) exploding.
15. Learn that people react differently to fire
16. Learn that they're just fattening you up to be sacrificed to the Sun God and that people don't like to go kayaking in cold, drizzly weather.
17. Rearrange the ice chest on the Titanic
18. Outpace the Deathstar
19. Go up a creek with a paddle, go down it without one.
20. Get good, belated, and much needed backrub.
21. See visions in embers of a fire, including a face, poorly done CG Satan skin, and Batman.
22. Pick up various themes of the trip.
23. Make lists all the way up on all the ways you failed to make sure you had everything when you left

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1. (A) Make lists all the way up on all the ways you failed to prepare and make lists before you left.

I never made a list. I should have made a list. I never did. Even though I should have. Instead I repeated what I needed in my head a hundred times what I would need. Kind of like how I'm repeating that I should have made a list but did not. Over and over again. Unfortunately, I have the worst short-term memory of anyone that I know save fellow No-Lyfer Brian, whose short-term memory is so bad he keeps forgetting about this blog. So I took a trip down to Clear Lake to get what I needed from my parents (I don't keep camping gear and the like cause they have it) earlier this week. I brought back a chair, sleeping bag, and a water cooler. Kept thinking that I was forgetting something.

Thursday night I remembered that I forgot to pick up my bathing suit. Oops. Callie said I could just pick one up at Wallmart, so I didn't worry about it. Then I remembered that I also forgot sun tan lotion. So Thursday night after leaving the Mucky Duck, I drove home to pick up the bathing suit and lotion. I quickly picked up the bathing suit, got a pack of cigarettes for the trip, and trucked back up and made it home by about three or so and went to sleep.

Kevin and Callie arrived at 7:30 or so and I went to the car and threw in the chair the chair, the bathing suit, and the sleeping bag.

Things I forgot:
Lotion
Cigarettes

On the way up, I picked up a pack at the convenience store.

Things I forgot:
Lotion
Cigarettes

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2. Change camping grounds, suddenly gain three brothers.
3. Become married in a mutual partnership (as defined by Hawaiian law, sweetheart) without actually going to Hawaii.

When we got there, we discovered that there wasn't nearly enough room on our plot for all our tents. Furthermore, Micah was worried about his two year old son being so close to the water. Micah asked to be moved up, but was assured and reassured that he was given the Number One Spot. The fact that it's not an acceptable spot withstanding, it was certified Number One. Oooh and ahhh at your own leisure. So in a quick decision, we decided to relocate to the public grounds next door. The only problem is that the state of Oklahoma charges not by the car or the person, but by the family.

The attendants included:
Kevin Whited, Callie's boyfriend
Callie Mark, Kevin's girlfriend (last name abbreviated due to laziness of the author)
Louise Whited, Kevin's Mom
Frank Whited, Kevin's Dad
Mrs. Mark, Callie's mom
Micah, Kevin's childhood friend
Tom, ditto
Gladys, Micah's wife
Adric, Micah's son
Camille, Kevin and Callie's friend who was going to arrive later in the evening.

So that's a total of five families. We decided that it would be a lot easier if we'd just all pose as Frank & Louise's children. So I became R. Alex Whited and suddenly gained three brothers. As it turned out, we all had the glasses + goatee thing going for us (cept Tom, who had the goatee but no glasses) and I actually look more like Kevin's Mom than Kevin does. So that made us one big giant extended family (Gladys, Adric, and Mrs. Mark being in-laws and Camille, if asked, either Tom's or my wife presumably).

When the Park Ranger arrived to collect his due, he informed Callie (who was our frontwoman on the matter) that Oklahoma considered a family to be a mother, a father, and 2.3 children, rounded down to two. So Callie went ahead and posed as Kevin's wife and asked for leniency. Eventually she struck a deal and that the Whited and Mark familes were considered one. Micah's family was considered another one, and Tom and I slipped in together under Oklahoma's unstated "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. We'd have some explaining to do if they saw Camille, but we'd have figured something out for certain (happy gay Morman family, anyone?), and three families was a lot better than five.

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4. Remember that everyone who knows of you on this trip thinks you don't smoke anymore. Inform them one by one that you still do. Absorb sense of disappointment.

When I first met Louise, she asked me if I was the one she'd sent an email of encouragement after he quit smoking.

I had a cigarette in my hand.

The next morning when I officially met Camille, she asked "Aren't you the one that quit smoking?"

I had a cigarette in my hand. Again.

I didn't smoke all that much (five cigars and 3/4 of a pack for the entire weekend), so it was just my luck that everyone I met who knew of my faltered quest would meet me with a cigarette in my hand. Louise, being a former smoker herself, gave me a hard time with it. The second day she wore a lunch cancer pin. It was all very good-natured, though. To be honest, I really don't mind people giving me a hard time smoking. I actually appreciate it as long as it's not antagonistic. Given my temperament, whoever I settle down with will not be a smoker and thus push me to quit. And I will (at least then, probably before). I don't intend to be a smoker for life and I did well on my last attempt until I was thrown a pretty big curveball in my life.

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5. Gain new sidekick (or become sidekick, depending on your perspective).

Adric is the two year old son of Micah and Gladys. The kid is a firecracker. One of the first things Micah said to me about his little boy was that he's (a) indestructable and (b) while he doesn't try to hit sensitive areas, he's about the right height that a randomly thrown punch will land there. So don't worry about playing rough but be sure to protect yourself. His mother is Dominican and Micah thoroughly bilingual (he plans to teach Spanish down here), so his primary language is Spanish. As with most bilingual kids, he's a little behind the language curve (but will catch up and excel his peers in a couple years). So we couldn't really speak to one another and he didn't understand most of what I said and vice-versa. More on this later.

All in all, he's a real neat kid.

I first actually met him at the Number One Spot Campsite. I'm not generally one to fawn over children. Don't get me wrong, I love them. But so do most people and I don't make it my business to compete for the attention of someone else's child. On the other hand, I babysat for a few years and am good with children. When we were all moved to the Public Lot, Adric was throwing a beach ball around and I retrieved it from across the wire fence, where he'd thrown it. "Uh oh," he said, with the cute voice that kids have at two with a limited vocabulary. I smiled and retrieved the ball, which he threw right back at me. I threw it at him. Repeat process until bonding occurs.

Later under the canopy, I was sitting in my chair when he ran up and flung himself across my legs. I thought he was just goofing off, so I just let him lay there. Not long later, he officially climbed on me and sat in my lap. I rearranged him around and we danced (I bopped my leg and he bopped up and down) to Randy Rogers, playing from Kevin's SUV.

It became a common theme for the trip. We played a lot of "ball" and he'd climb on me. Sometimes he'd take my finger and walk me around the campsite. When he'd get too close to someone else's area, I'd turn him around and he'd contentedly walk the other way. until he found something of interest to him.

At one point, he was being kept away from the fire and was getting restless in his mother's arms, so she unloaded a crying Adric on me. Within a minute he was smiling and dancing with me to whatever Rogers tune was playing at the time (we played a lot of Rogers that weekend). He lost interest in me after a few minutes, but it was nonetheless a serene moment.

My father has always been really good with children. Times like this weekend give me hope that I picked that up from him.

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1. (B) Make lists all the way up on all the ways you failed to prepare and make lists before you left.

I had planned to use my jacket as a pillow. Unfortunately, the sleeping bag only went halfway up my chest and without the jacket, I was freezing. If there is one thing I fear, it's sleeping cold. It's the most consistent precursor to waking up feeling ill the next morning. At home, I generally sleep in my clothes (or at least long pants) and socks for that reason. It's my kryptonite.

So I was at a loss as to what to do. I meant to bring a pillow with me, but I forgot about that until I had to sleep with the back of my head on the cold plastic tent.

Things I forgot:
Lotion
Cigarettes
Pillow

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6. Get sugar craving at three in the morning, have no sugar available anywhere.
7. See man who may be a crazy stalker while searching for sugar, but just go back into your tent and fall fast asleep again.

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with sugar cravings. I've never really understood why, but I'll have a lot of trouble getting back to sleep if I don't find something sugary (or nutrisweetish) to consume. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, swipe one of my roommate's Pepsis, drink it in as few gulps as possible, and go right back to bed.

On Friday night, our first evening there, I got such a craving. Unfortunately, there was nothing remotely sugary around. Nor were there any vending machines. The store was closed and the only soft drinks around had been taken by Frank and Louise for the evening. I wandered around aimlessly in search for some sugary refreshment, but to no avail. While looking, I saw that there was a man leaning against Micah's SUV. I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't see it. I figured if it was Micah he would have said something. Hoping beyond hope Thinking it was Micah, I went in my tent to hide sleep.

I finally fell back asleep. When I woke up in the morning, I went around looking at shadows in tents to make sure everyone was alive. Reassured, I went to the store, bought a coke, and finally got my sugar. I don't think I did a very good job of looking around to make sure everyone was alright, cause a bright orange tent popped up and I completely missed it. Thankfully, it was Camille and not a psycho-killer camping out waiting for us to all wake up so he could kill us without further disrespecting us by going into our tents.

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8. Wake up, meet someone new (sort of), insert foot into mouth.

Note to self: When you meet someone you know is in the medical profession and they refer to the hospital that they're working at, do not, do not, assume that they are a nurse. Cause they might be a week away from being a full-fledged doctor and tired of being accused of being a nurse because of their gender. Especially when they don't know how cool you think nurses are. Not that being a doctor isn't really cool, too. I just didn't personally know any medical doctors until Camille and do know some nurses and nurses are cool, not that being a doctor isn't cooler, and not by thinking she was a nurse instead of a doctor meant that she was less cool cause I think doctors are cooler than nurses, cause I don't necessarily think they are cooler, I just don't think they're necessarily not and mphmuhmmphmumph... ahem, sorry about that. My foot seemed to find its way into my mouth again.

Also note to self: If you don't know a woman's age or approximate age, just avoid the subject of ages (including yours) entirely. Don't even bother professing ignorance and just referring to your generation, cause she might pointedly note that she is part of your generation and assume that you assumed she was younger even though you assumed she was older and mphmuhmmphmumph....

Also also note to self: Find some mouth-repellant shoes.

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1. (C) Make lists all the way up on all the ways you failed to prepare and make lists before you left.

Camille is quite the forgiving sort, and when I mentioned that I was without a pillow, she offered me one of hers. Score!

Things I forgot:
Lotion
Cigarettes
Pillow

I got my things together to take a shower...

Things I forgot:
Lotion
Cigarettes
Pillow
Towels

Whiff.

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9. Learn Spanish and teach someone more English.

During my adventures with Adric on Saturday and beyond, he would go around pointing to things and sounding out the words. For instance, he would look at dew on plants and say "aqua!" which, of course, means water. Similarly, whenever he wanted to play with the ball, he would point and say "bol!"

Some words were more complicated, however. He would point to bugs and say "pica!" So I thought that pica meant bug. Then he pointed at my cigar and said "pica!" I finally had to turn to Micah and ask what "pica" meant, and he said it was a derivative of the word "picar" which means to bite or to sting. Picante sauce is derived from that word.

Most were pretty simple. For instance, whenever he pointed to cars (toy or real) and said "vroom" I could rest assured that was Spanish for "car."

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1. (D) Make lists all the way up on all the ways you failed to prepare and make lists before you left.

Steel-toed boots are not good swimwear.

Things I forgot:
Lotion
Cigarettes
Pillow
Towels
Swimming shoes

The store has a pair... three sizes too small.

Things I forgot:
Lotion
Cigarettes
Pillow
Towels
Swimming shoes Ouch.

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10. Get wet without swimming.

We woke up on Saturday to a chill and fog. Everyone crossed their fingers hoping that the weather would get better. Everyone except me, of course. I dislike the sun. I like overcast, dreary weather. As we were all huddled on the raft, my views on the matter turned out to be very unpopular. The more it rained, the more Callie looked at me and scowled. When the sun came out, I grunted a disapproving "mmmmh" and the sun would go hide again.

The more this happened, the less popular my views on the subject became.

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1. (E) Make lists all the way up on all the ways you failed to prepare and make lists before you left.

When the sun finally did come out, Camille came to the rescue again! She was the only one who'd thought to have some sun tan lotion ready for application.

Things I forgot:
Lotion
Cigarettes
Pillow
Towels
Swimming shoes Ouch.

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11. Learn the physics of paddling. Relearn. Relearn. Repeat process.

Apparently, most people spend their first trip doing most of the paddling while everyone else just drinks beer. It's not any sort of hazing or initiation, but rather us newbies are unaccostomed to the point of the trip: drink beer and float. Apparently this has been a real problem in years past when one particular guest thought that this would be an ironman (or ironwoman) endurance contest and that there would be racing and competition involved. Not being the competitive sort, I was quite sure that I would not be bit by that particular bug.

Camille and I ended up sitting together in the back of the raft. Camille is not one for drinking. Even though she spent the previous year being the only paddler on two rafts, she was still inclined to paddle this year. Since I was back there with her and can walk and chew gum drink beer and paddle at the same time, we were the steering department for the course of the afternoon. Unfortunately, I had more upper body strength than she did so while she had to paddle constantly, I need to be less constant about it. The problem was that I kept forgetting which way the raft would steer when I paddled, so I'd think that I desperately need to paddle to catch up I was actually ahead and thus threw us further off-course.

Camille very patiently explained, over and over again, that by paddling my side it'll steer the boat to the other side, but like Bart Simpson and the electrical cupcake, I just kept doing it.

At one point she just told me to go hog-wild and spin us around. The rest of the gang (not to mention other rafters and kayakeers) looked at us like we were crazy, but it was thrilling fun for a spin or two.

I'd had some beer to drink. I don't know what Camille's excuse was.

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12. Consider the anthropological mechanics of male and female urination habits.

We had to take numerous pit-stops along the way. We stopped to eat at one point, but it was generally for us guys to relieve ourselves. I say "us guys" literally because Callie and Camille never went. This brought up a rather serious boozed up intellectual conversation on the urination habits of men and women. Namely (in Camille's words) "Girls don't feel the need to announce to the world that they're taking a leak."

Indeed.

Some guys would make a cursory effort to conceal their actions. They might go behind a bush or something. Most of the time, it didn't take a rocket scientist (or glasses) to see what they were doing. Callie said that she wishes she had a camera to take a picture of the four of us lined up, sprawled across the scenery, with our backs to the river but completely unconcerned with the reality that everyone knew what we were doing. I only saw one girl squatting at a point during the trip, but she had two girls lined up in front of her so that we wouldn't see. That was kind of a mistake, either in thinking that it would work or using two scantily clad girls to block her. If not for them, I'd not have noticed at all.

Callie and Camille, the only two ladies on the raft (Gladys, Louise, and Mrs. Mark stayed behind), managed to hold it. Camille didn't drink much so it wasn't that hard for her. Poor Callie needed to go after a couple hours, but refused to compromise her femininity by going anywhere but in a restroom. So she held it. And held it. And held it. Eventually we found a place that had restrooms marked, so we docked. Turns out it was merely a barrell surrounded by something or other and even though it was designated male-female, twasn't gonna happen. Callie held it some more.

At one point, a couple of us conspired to throw her into the water so that she'd just be done with it. She indignantly replied that she would make a point not to go if we did such, and our plans were scrapped.


13. Become more superstitious

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14. Democratize someone into (almost) exploding.

We reached a stopping point and debated whether or not to utilize it. Some of us wanted to keep going, but Tom was ready to call it a day and Callie was about to explode. So we held a vote. 4-2.

Poor Callie.

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15. Learn that people react differently to fire

Frank: We should put more lighter fluid on this fire.
R. Alex: Hmmm. Fire warm. Warm good. Wait, too warm. Move chair back. Good warm. Not warm enough. Move chair forward. There we go.
Camille: Fire good. My pocket of zen is right by fire. Yay fire. Nice fire. Sincere fire. Good fire.
Adric: ¿Por qué no puedo jugar yo con la cosa dinámica brillante? ¡Quiero jugar con la cosa dinámica brillante!
Kevin: Beer. Fire. Paradise.
Tom: Hmm. Is my shirt on fire? So it is. So it is.
Micah: Uhhhh, Tom....

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16. Learn that they're just fattening you up to be sacrificed to the Sun God and that people don't like to go kayaking in cold, drizzly weather.

On Sunday afternoon we were eating tacos everyone was looking to the sky to see if it would warm up. Periodically the sun would come out, I'd scowl, and it would go away, as per Saturday. Finally, Tom suggested that I be sacrificed to the Sun God so that the Sun will come out. Callie noted that they were already fattening me up. The idea became very popular.

Too popular.

But not popular enough for me to stop eating tacos. Alex:Tacos::Camille:Fire::Kevin:Beer

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17. Rearrange the ice chest on the Titanic

As the morning wore on, more and more of the old fogies (as defined by anyone older than Camille, the next oldest person) determined that it was too cold and wet (waaaaaah!!) to go kayaking and that they wanted to "stay at the camp" because it was "cold" out and fire is "warm" and "stuff."

Since this was my first trip, I definitely wanted to go out again. However, because I wasn't familiar with the river, I didn't want to go alone. As it turned out, Camille was interested in going as well, and since we were going kayaking instead of rafting, we didn't need to likes of them and their aversion to "turning purple" from the cold. (the air quotes are not quoting their words, merely my mimicking them out of pure pettiness cause Cam and I ventured the river and they did not, so there).

Kevin was good enough to give me an ice chest to take with me with some beer and, water, and diet coke. We weren't sure where to put the chest on the kayak, but there was an area for it behind the seat that looked like it would hold it pretty well. So I tied it down and we were on our way out into the river. For about two seconds. Then I nearly capsized. Being a novice, my balancing skills were already not so great. During the initial jolt, the cooler got off-center adding to my difficulties. I made it across the river and she fastened it better than I did and I was ready to roll.

Or not.

It seemed that no matter how hard I paddled, I wasn't going anywhere. Furthermore, over half the kayak was under water. Paddle paddle paddle. Camille was suddenly 20 feet ahead of me. Paddle paddle paddle. Forty feet. I checked out paddling rates and I was paddling (slightly) faster than she, but to no avail. She slowed down and I sped up, but the half-sunk Titanic wouldn't go. The fact that half of my energy went to balancing the top-heavy beast didn't help. The only places I made ground was when we were caught by the currents.

When we were confronted by the Monolith, she started paddling as fast as she could, leaving me behind to suffer its wrath. Finally, when we managed to outrun it, we pulled ashore and I tried to just tie the cooler onto the back. The problem was that there was no fastener to keep it closed. All I knew is that my arms could not take much more. I seriously considered just buying Kevin a new chest and leaving it behind. But I hate hate hate admitting defeat. Seeing my plight, Camille agreed to take charge of the Titanic, figuring it would give her more of a challenge.

That it did. Once we switched crafts, I was steadily ahead of her and was able to relax my aching arms. She'd underestimated the effect of the chest, much to my glee. But my tired arms and the lighter craft more or less matched her superior paddling skills and higher energy levels against the heavy chest. And when she had trouble keeping up, I got to rest. That in and of itself made me quite thankful.

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18. Outpace the Deathstar

I initially dubbed it The Monolith and later, when talking to someone else about it, The Deathstar. It was about 15 rafts or so all interconnected and loaded with excess of fifty drunken assholes. I do not mean to corrolate drunkenness with assholishness, but in this case it fit. They were loud and obnoxious. But not in the cool way we were loud and obnoxious the day before. In an obnoxious obnoxious way. For instance, One lady in the Monolith commented that I'd better unload the cooler from the Titanic cause I was sinking. I ignored her and another guy from the craft pointed at me and warned me that I'd "better look at her when she's talking to [me]."

We only wish Kevin, Micah, Tom, and Callie were there. When we'd had water balloons flung at us the day before, they knew all the right cursewords the yell. My arms were tired and my creative well tapped dry. I grunted and sped up as best I could to catch up with Camille, who'd sped up the second that she saw them.

We finally regrouped later when she was comfortable ahead of them and stalled to wait for me. We went a little further along the way before I needed a quick break.

R. Alex: Hmmm... how far ahead are we from the Monolith?
Camille: I don't know. We've probably got about ten minutes.
R. Alex: Okay, I need to take a nine minute break.

We ended up breaking for a slightly longer period of time as we rearranged things. We'd apparently left them in the dust. Or they got out. Or drowned.

We can hope, right?

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19. Go up a creek with a paddle, go down it without one.
1. (F) Make lists all the way up on all the ways you failed to prepare and make lists before you left.

On the last series of turns, Camille and I became increasingly more risk-taking. Well, Camille was risk-taking most of the time, but the ice chest added to the effect. To give you an idea, when the Titanic was mine, the front hit a rock or some wood and the entire thing flipped backwards. I'd managed to jump out the side to avoid getting water up my nose. Three cheers for thinking off my feet to the effect of clean nostrils!

So anyhow, I made it through a particularly iffy current that she was going through. I was curious how she was going to make it through. Unfortunately, I was in my own heep of trouble with a giant fallen tree and missed it all. I got tossed and when I got up and regrouped, I looked up and saw all the beer and coke floating away from her capsized craft. She came over to where I was and we laughed about it for a bit. We were not in a particularly advantageous spot and our kayaks kept flipping and doing wacky things even as we were trying to just get it level enough to sit on.

We watched the last remaining item she had on her, the sun tan lotion, float away.

When the sun finally did come out, Camille came to the rescue again! She was the only one who'd thought to have some sun tan lotion ready for application.

Things I forgot:
Lotion Lotion (again)
Cigarettes
Pillow
Towels
Swimming shoes Ouch.

She finally hopped across the log and tried it from that side with great success. I, on the other hand, was far too stubborn. So I tried it again. Not only was I tipped in under two sections, I was caught by the currents and thrown against the troublesome log. If I'd been wearing my life vest, the kayak would have floated away. But since I'd taken it off and tied it to the craft, I was able to grab hold of it and consequently the kayak.

We never saw the paddle again.

I was paddling with my arms when Phil, the campground manager that we were using, saw us and our predicament. I paddled in as best I could, but reached a stalemate right before the spot where I could get out. Camille extended her paddle to me to pull me in. Of course, she pulled me but not the kayak and I was dunked one last time. Thinking quickly off my feet again, I captured the kayak with my legs and was successfully pulled in.

Phil is a great guy. Not that you'd know it on meeting him. He had a very gruff demeanor. He was a chain smoker, but he really should dip instead of smoke. Not that one is healthier than the other, but he looks like a dipper. If he didn't spit out the side of his mouth every few seconds, he's the type of guy that would. Even though we'd not stayed at his campground as we'd had reservations to do, he didn't charge Kevin for the space (even though Kevin offered). Most importantly (to me), he didn't even charge me in the case of the mysterious missing paddle.

I was apologetic to Camille for making us have to stop early, but we only had 3/4 of a mile left so all was right with the world.

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20. Get good, belated, and much needed backrub.

When I commented how tense my muscles were and how much I'd be willing to pay a messeus, she offer to trade backrubs.

Best trade I've brokered in a long time.

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21. See visions in embers of a fire, including a face, poorly done CG Satan skin, and Batman.

On the last evening there, we finally built a real campfire. The previous night's was on a stove. This was was on the ground, as fires are meant to be. Louise, Frank, and Mrs. Mark had left. Adric and Gladys and eventually Kevin and Callie went to bed, so Micah, Tom, Camille, and I all hung out by the increasingly dwindling fire. As the night wore on, we all became increasingly sleepy (as night wearing on tends to make us). When I saw a face in the embers of the campfire, people assumed I was getting delirious. I was not, of course, cause there was a face in there. Little eyes, a nose, and a mouth. Camille looked, but couldn't see it. Harrumph. She must have been too delirious in her pocket of campfire zen. I eventually got tired of it staring at me, so I poked it with the stick and went away.

So far so good.

Then one side of the campfire started looking familiar. It looked like CG for a planet or something. Then I realized that it actually looked a little like skin. Satan's skin, it occured to me. It took about fifteen minutes of pondering where I'd seen that CG skin before (and about ten minutes of Micah and Tom ridiculing me. Harrumph again). Then I remembered it from a movie, but my companions were unconvinced. Bah to them all, I thought.

Then I saw something colossaly weird. It looked like a BTAS version of Batman's torso and head. Not just any torso and head, but one I've seen before on little Batman bottles where the squirter is coming out of his back. Though the embers lacked said squirter, I felt it was time for bed.

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22. Pick up various themes of the trip.

Theme song: "Rhonda's Prayer" by Dead End Angels. ("Thank you Lord, we don't need any more rain")
Beer commercial motto: "No one cares about your beer quite as much as you do" -Kevin Whited
Camera effects: Lowered contrast. Grey skies meet lush green wood.
What made the trip so enjoyable: The people, without a doubt. In a situation like this (cold weather, rain, etc) the key to enjoyment is flexibility and we had a wonderfully flexible group. Many bitched about the weather, but no one let it stop them from enjoying themselves. On the first day Camille and I paddled and most of the other people didn't and no one complained that we were moving too fast or too slow or steering wrong. Also true for Camille on the kayaking day where a number of things went wrong but we had a great time.When Kevin's beer was lost, for instance, her verifiably did not kill me. I can't remember the last time I was with a group that large without factions being formed or anyone really getting angry with anyone else. Those are many of the reasons I avoid large group activities and they were notably absent.

I can't wait for next year.

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23. Make lists all the way up on all the ways you failed to make sure you had everything when you left

Things I could have forgotten, items scratched off in my possession:
Bathing suit
Chair*
Sleeping bag
Cooler**
Cigarettes
Glasses

*- I techically have it, but it was crushed when a certain two year old was jumping up and down on me.

**- Crap.