So says an email I recieved today. Since anyone at my office having a crush on me is counterintuitive, to say the least, I felt the need to investigate.

I work in the office of an oil drilling services company. Prior to a huge waves of layoffs (a contract ended), we had 68 employees. Now, theoretically it could have been a former coworker that "hired" the website to find me, so I will consider them in narrowing down our suspects.

Now, first of all, since the site is called "Work Place Crush" and not "Trabaje el Amor del Lugar" or its Vietnamese equivalent, I can eliminate those that do not speak English from the pool.

We're down to 48.

Of those forty-eight, I've talked to roughly 20 of them (as I am integral to our payroll system, I am aware of them, but they are not aware of me). So now we've got twenty left.

Sixteen of the remaining 20 are men. The ad only shows women, and since advertisements never lie, we're down to 4.

The suspects:

Aba - Cheif accountant, just shy of 60 years old, white, evangelical protestant. Likes: Jesus Christ, lots of details. Hates: Computers, mechanical calculators, any mathematical tool more complex than an abacus. Seeing as how I'm the IT guy -- not to mention that she's married to the company President -- I would have to say this one is unlikely.

Nancy - Office manager, pushing 70, white, evangelical protestant. Likes: Jesus Christ, being valued, and puppy dogs Hates: Mean people and jerks. Seeing as how I'm 15 years younger than her youngest son, and I am a jerk and a mean person, this is probably unlikely, too.

Edie - Receptionist, just under 50 years of age, white, evangelical protestant. Likes: Jesus Christ, Infuriating her colleagues with endless blather and explanations. Hates: Not being absolutely, positively, 100% certain of every... little... detail. Seeing as how I'm younger than her youngest child and she's married, I'd have to say this one is unlikely, too.

Aria - CAD Drafter, mid-thirties, Hispanic, Roman Catholic. Likes: Jesus Cristo, authentic Mexican food. Dislikes: American attempts at Mexican food, being so far away from her family. She is the most likely culprit, were it not for the fact that she regularly asks me how to get to a site her husband didn't bookmark for her, this is unlikely, too.

So... the obvious explanation... is that there is another woman employee for the company that I don't know about, yet thinks that I am super hot. I'll have to look around more closely. Maybe she has the superpower of invisibility. That'd be kinda cool... yeah... that's the ticket...