Eileen and I were on a 19 day Atlantic crossing of the Seabourn Sun. On day 4 of this cruise, I stepped into one of the rear elevators on my way to dinner. When the doors closed I was overcome with a disgusting odor. I looked down and found that someone had left a pile of feces in the center of the elevator. I was alone in the elevator and my first thought was "what if the doors open and someone thinks that I did this." When the elevator stopped, I was relieved to find that no one was waiting there to board. I rushed to dinner and quickly told my tablemates what I had encountered. After some laughing, they convinced me to report this to purser's desk. I left the table and went to the purser's desk.
I stated: "Someone has had an accident in one of the rear elevators."
Reply: "Have they fallen? Are they hurt?"
I stated: "No, not that kind of accident."
Reply: "Are they sick?"
I stated: "There is a pile of shit in the elevator."
The expression of horror on the desk clerks face was indescribable.
The next evening, one of the women at our table reported that while walking in the corridor outside her stateroom, she also encountered a pile of shit. She went on to tell us that when she reported this to the purser's desk, her conversation went pretty much like mine had.
Before the first week of this cruise was over, we had discovered the identity of this fantom shitter; but that is a whole other story.
Howard Garland
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