I've been working for Cooper & Price for almost three weeks now. I stayed at OmniStar for six and lasted eight at Gattaca. This is, however, an entirely different experience. I enter employment with both of the others with the intention of leaving. Mentally, to me, that's no better than being unemployed (my pocketbook has a different attitude on the matter, however). So mentally speaking, I am for the first time in over a year, employed.

Generally, we work to make money. Without the need for money, few people would go through the daily grind. I'm not sure what I would do. I can say this, though: the joy of working has little to do with money and less to do with what I'm actually doing. I'm not saving the world nor making enough money to buy even a chunk of it. That's irrelevent. What's relevent is that I had a job. Up until now, I'm not sure I realized how much that meant to me.

The year 2004 has been a rough one in a number of respects. The move to Idaho has been tough for a number of reasons. The biggest problem, without a doubt, was the employment one. Because I saved so much at UFC and took the temporary jobs, I never ran the risk of going broke. Again, not about the money. Money is exchanged for goods and services, but it's given me something a lot more valuable than that: stability.

I don't do well with uncertainty. While life is never certain, I try to keep the variables to a minimum. Since arriving here, the variables have been numerous. But more than the variables, I think, was the burning fuse. While I was never in danger of going broke, I knew that unless something changed I would eventually get there.

The loss of that feeling has by far been the best thing about my job.

I was taken to task on here for not calling my father while I was unemployed (imagine, for a moment, the egg on my face when I found out that he reads the blog!). Justifiably so, but in a way that's always how I've worked. Stability is two points for me, and one point for my perspective on the world. Without having a job, it felt that in a way I couldn't face my parents. Nothing they said or did made me feel that way. In some ways, I had trouble facing up to Eel who has been outstandingly supportive throughout this all. It more or less defines my relationship with God. "I'll get back with You once I have my life in order and feel that I can face You again."

It's beyond silly. Support during the downtimes is what parents, significant others, and Loving Gods are for. Not to make your life all better, but to give you aid and assurance to help guide you along.

I'm leaving for Florida tomorrow morning and I'm going to see my family. C&P gave me the time off to do to that, but more than that, they gave me the ability to go to Florida with my head held high.