There is an old episode of The Simpsons in which Lisa runs a series of parallel tests between a lab rat and Bart. When stung by an electrically charged muffin, the rat slinked away. Bart, on the other hand, repeatedly reached for the muffin and was shocked each time.

Score one for the rat.

Less than a year ago, the California GOP had a choice of whom to pick to oppose Governor Gray Davis. On one hand, there was businessman Bill Simon, a staunch conservative undeniably out of touch with the liberal politics of the state. On the other was former Los Angeles Mayor Richard Riordan. Riordan alienated many conservatives by distancing himself from his party on social issues. He was pro-gay rights, pro-choice, and pro-business fiscally.

The Republicans, figuring that they could put up anyone this side of Josef Stalin and emerge victorious, banked on Bill Simon.

Accordingly, a governor with approval ratings in the low 30 percentile was handily re-elected governor of the most populous state in the union.

The California electorate's message was loud and clear: we would rather have an incompetent, irritating, smug, and corrupt boob than a self-defined conservative.

In an unprecedented (since the 20's) recall drive, Republicans are given a second chance to oust Governor Davis, whose popularity ratings are somewhere south of Congressman Jim Matheson's name identification numbers.

From the start, I've been against the recall because I believe that recalls make bad law. Doesn't matter if it's Governor Davis of California or Bush of Florida, if a governor is as corrupt as Gray Davis is accused of being by his critics, he ought to be impeached.

Conservatives and Republicans have set out to convince us all that Davis is such a special case, such a spectacular failure, that this makes a recall (which a plurality of Republicans, like me, don't care much for) justified.

Davis, they say, is a threat to the state.

So along comes a candidate with high enough name recognition numbers to defeat Davis. His politics are not dissimilar from Riordan's. Like Riordan, he has the support of the White House. Arnold Schwarzenegger is essentially a chance for Republicans to undo their 2002 error.

Like Bart Simpson and the muffin, however, they won't stop picking at it. He's not conservative enough, just like Riordan. He's liberal on social issues, just like Riordan. He's not particularly fiscally conservative, just like Riordan.

Except that Arnold, like Riordan, can actually win. He can actually help remove the statehouse from the reportedly dangerous Davis and give the Republicans a governorship that they are unlikely to win in the future.

So they're willing to deride the candidate most likely to succeed. They're willing to cut the wave that Schwarzenegger's riding because, despite his dangerous incompetence, he's somehow better than a liberal Republican. They're willing to boost the chances of Cruz Bustamante, an intraparty rival of Davis's and a man unlikely to become governor in a regular election.

Why? Because State Senator McClintock and is more conservative. Just like Mr. Simon.

They just keep reaching for that electrofied muffin.

UPDATE: Just a bit for perspective, courtesy of Michael Williams:

Returning home, Bustamante began attending Fresno State University, where he also failed to graduate but immersed himself in local and student politics, including the racial activism of MEChA, a group whose name is an acronym for “Moviemiento Estudiantil Chicano de AZTLAN,” the Chicano Student Movement of Aztlan.

[...]

The “A” in MEChA stands for “Aztlan,” their word for the entire southwestern United States from Texas to California and from the Mexican border to the Canadian border, lost in war or sold by Mexico to the U.S. Mechistas aim to reclaim all this land for Mexico in a new reconquista, a “reconquest” like the re-taking of Spain from Moorish Muslims by Roman Catholics that was completed in 1492.

Well, at least he's not economically liberal, pro-choice, and pro-gay rights like Arnold is...

Oh wait, he is.