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Gattaca: First Day on the Job
R. Alex Whitlock
My first day at Gattaca:
The traffic from Seabrook to Jersey Village was surprisingly not very bad. I got up early enough that I missed the morning traffic and since I get out at 4:15, I missed most of it on the way back, too.
You wouldn't think that such fuddy duddy employers would have a workforce predominately in its twenties. I suppose they are largely in the same position as myself: Young and desperate.
IT rooms are funny things. Nova, my employer during college, had it practically in the basement. They eventually moved it up to the third floor, equally out of the way. Part of me resented that they kept us hidden, but UFC showed me the error in that thinking. My office at UFC was more prominant... so prominant that I couldn't have a workbench because it was "unsightly." Well, Gattaca takes it a step further. The IT room is surrounded by windows and lit up as if it were on display. I'm told this wasn't an accident. I glibly called it the Fishbowl, but was informed that it was already the place's nickname.
I got a college degree for this?! This job is a whole lot like my old $8/hr job a couple employers back. It's busier, but it's something I easily could have done a couple of years ago. They start most non-programming IT people out at this position, but still! Luckily, this job pays a lot more than $8/hr.
There were a few jokes about how UFC, my former employer, was Office Spacesque. UFC has nothing on this place. I swear I almost mistakenly said TPS Reports about six times. This place was Initech, except a lot larger and with a lot less leeway.
Say what I will about the place, the take care of their programmers. They get the solitude of an office so that they can do what they needed to do. Since I my database programing was constantly interrupted by people walking through, I can definitely see the wisdom in that. I'm glad that they do, too.
I love the cold weather. I do not love driving in the cold weather at 6:30 in the morning in a car without heating, however.
They have a cafeteria from which we are expected to eat lunch. Our lunch breaks are 30 minutes long, so there isn't time to go out. Biggest. Burritos. Ever. Well, next to the Jaliscience. But it's close. Good price, too. Unfortunately, when I get on night shift, they won't be open. It's a bit dangerous though because they don't deal in cash. It comes straight out of your paycheck. That's dangerous for the same reason college mealcards are dangerous and how I managed to spend $650 in ten weeks at UH. Fortunately, when I get on night shift, they won't be open.
I get Thursday and Friday nights off! Woohoo!
I get five, count'em five, polo shirts out of the deal. Navy blue polo shirts. I like navy blue polo shirts.
Gattaca is everything I thought it would be. More.
It's only four months... it's only four months... it's only four months...
Observations
I don't think I knew you were a Jaliscience fellow traveler. I used to drink cheap/strong margaritas there during grad school. If you were a regular, chances are you saw me at some point. And since John and Cathy live nearby and frequent the place, you probably saw them too. Small world. Or Small fourth largest city in the U.S. at least.
Talk about Office Space. The big partner informed me I have the pleasure of coming in over the Thanksgiving weekend, and instead of being peeved, it was all I could do not to burst out laughing . . .
'We're gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturdaym mmmm--kay? So, if you could be here around 9:30, that would be grrrrreeeeaaaaattttt . . ."
Yeah, that cafeteria was one of the few things I missed about the place. They sure do know how to make a good lunch for a decent price...
As for the "great" offices the programmers get, while it was nice to be able to program in peace, the longer you went in them (and with the restrictions on what you could and could not put up), it felt more like house arrest than the prestige of "having your own office"... Especially since the doors are *always* to your back and you never know when someone is looking in on you. That just irks me on principals. They try to make you think that everything they are doing is for your benefit, when it is really so that they can keep a closer Orwellian eye on you. Everything they did when I was a programmer there screamed to me as an employee "We do not trust you."
Adam,
To say that Gattaca doesn't trust its employees (even its executives and programmers) is an understatement and reinforced by the access pads in front of every door, hallway, and john.
Oh, and the fact that half the tech support doesn't have access to the Internet - filtered, monitored, or otherwise.
Regardless, considering Gattaca's depraved indifference to its employees, the fact that they stuck the programmers in their own offices instead of the cubicles (which we don't even get) at least suggests that they know what their bread-and-butter is.
Not enough to cultivate an environment to encourage employees to *stay*, mind you, but enough to realize that spending a little more on their offices encourages productivity (something not all employers recognize).
Daniel,
I wonder if either of our employers are even familiar with the movie.
Kevin,
Jaliscience and I go back a long ways. It used to be the favorite outpost of Brian, Jay and I after Phil Pritchett shows down the road at Fitz. Since then all the No-Lyfe folks hang out there to discuss various stuff and I go there whenever I can.
Unfortunately, six months or so ago the "renovated" the place and it's lost 75% of its atmosphere. No more James Dean pictures or anything cool, replaced by a bland yellow paint job. Very disappointing.
The Burritos are still big and cheap, though.
I have this powerful desire to put up a giant poster of Office Space in my office.
That would be grreaaaaaaaat.
"Minimum security prison is no joke, boys. I have a client who's in tere now. He says the trick is, the first day, either kick someone's ass, or become someone's bitch. Then you'll be alright."
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