Back when Camille and I were long distance, she came to town during the fall time change. As it had been months since we'd last seen each other and we were in that goo-gah-lovey-dovey stage, that "fall back" was worth ten "spring forwards."

Maybe I'm just a bit grumpy from lack of sleep, but I'm considering a revision of my position on the matter.

I spent part of February battling the sunlight on my way to work. Too low to be blocked by the roof of my car, but high enough to be directly in my eyes. The sun finally starts getting high enough and then wham the time changes and the process starts all over.

I'm also wondering if we have it backwards. Some people are saying that they really enjoy the extra sunlight after work. But I don't think the focus should be how much sunlight we have after work but rather when the sun comes up in the morning.

The difference between waking up when there is sunlight outside and when there isn't makes all the difference in the world.

Now I know what you may be thinking, "Gee, R. Alex, the sun is up when I get up in the morning cause I don't get up at 6am like you do."

To which I say...

nothing nice at all.

This reminds me of my days as an alter boy.

When I first became an acolyte, we were in the old church hall which has us off to the side. This was bad insofar as it gave us freedom to do some goofing off we shouldn't have been doing. When the new sanctuary was build we sat behind the pastor. Much less conducive to goofing off, and much much much more conducive to making sure you got enough sleep the night before.

Luckily, though, I was not on television.

I've been having some trouble sleeping lately. Not like my battles with the Sandman. I'm getting between 7-8 hours of sleep every night. Every night. Even when I need and want more, I just can't sleep longer than that. I wake up an average of four times a night (lingering effects of pneumonia), so it's not remarkably good sleep. I spend half the day every day somewhat sleepy.

But this morning I had a breakthrough. I made it to 9 hours. That made all of the difference in the world. I was fully awake ten minutes after getting out of bed. Outstanding!

When I do pretty much anything that requires exertion for two straight hours, I tend to get very tired. Even if it doesn't require exertion, I get bored.

When the vacuum is running for two straight hours, it doesn't get tired because it is electric. I understand this.

When the woodchipper outside is running for two straight hours, it doesn't get tired because it, too, is electric. I understand this as well.

When the lawnmower outside is running for two straight hours, it doesn't get tired because it is gasoline powered. Understood.

So my question is how can the dog next door be barking loudly for two straight hours without getting tired. Are dogs gasoline or electric powered now?

When I got back home last night, I actually went straight to sleep. Considering that I've been unable to get to sleep before 6am lately, that was quite a feat.

I discovered something, though. There is absolutely nothing to do when you get up early!! Nothing is really open, not that it matters cause I can't leave cause my car is boxed in. Can't go downstairs cause there's a guest on the couch. No one is updating their blogs cause everyone smart is asleep and everyone holy (and with transportation) is at church. Established web sites have closed shop for the weekend.

I'm never getting up early again! Ever!

The eternal struggle between RAW and the Sandman continues like never before. When last we joined our hero, he was armed with a makeshift mask to block out the evil Dr. Light and his sunrays that have kept RAW week at night when the Sandman is at his most powerful. The Sandman responded in kind by recruiting Chronos to his nefarious cause. Chronos used his powers over time in order to elongate the hours that RAW is at his weakest. In addition to that, he set the clock in Gattaca's R&D division 1 hour ahead, so that every time RAW sees it he thinks that more time has past than actually has, leaving him to devestating disappointment and discouragement over and over again during the course of Sandman's frontal assaults.

But RAW has allies of his own! His intermittant ally Ephedra has come to his aid, giving him strength to perservere throughout the night by fighting the Sandman singlehandedly. Ephedra proved to be a dubius ally when he betrayed RAW and teamed up with Dr. Light to keep RAW awake during the day and weak at night. The Sandman then recruited RAW's own contacts, who laid assault on RAW's eyes until they had to be taken out.

RAW was saddened by the sacrifice, but has fought on valliantly! With the aid of Big K and his powerful caffiene gun, he fought off the Sandman valliantly. Together, Big K and RAW have formed an insurmountable alliance that leaves the Sandman and his own allies in frustrated defeat.

But the Sandman does not give up easily. If he cannot win this way, he will assuredly find another. He visits RAW's boss, Mr. Smith, late at night.

"Can't sleep. Somehow, somewhere there is dirt. I cannot sleep if dirt exists anywhere!!" Mr. Smith exclaims.

"I will aid you, Mr. Smith. I only ask one favor..." the Sandman tells him.

"Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep..."

"I will allow you to sleep if you grant me one favor. Will you do it?"

"Anything to sleep..."

[to be continued]

Their constant struggle continues as The Sandman and RAW fight The Battle Of The Graveyard Shift. To bring you up to date, The Sandman has taken advantage of RAW's third shift schedule to wreak havoc on our unsuspecting hero. The Sandman attacks at 4AM every morning, while RAW is bound by his enormously boring and uneventful job. RAW fights back with a notebook and paper where he can write down various ideas which can only spur his mind to be active.

The Sandman has gained the upper hand though by alluding RAW during the day. RAW tires as he chases the Sandman and his Z minions around all day, leaving him exhausted and vulnerable during the nightly sleepiness attacks.

But now RAW has a new weapon! A blindfold. By night it takes the shape of a sock, but during the day, when RAW spawns his plan to snatch the Sandman when he is at his friskiest, it is a mask that blocks out the light that has blinded RAW and allowed the Sandman to escape again and again.

So... without further ado, the battle continues...

I'm awake, I'm awake. Now what?

I take back the Rawr.

I sooooo take it back!

I just got back in front outside and I feel it. Not the mild chill that has been in the air lately, feeling a little bit (but only a little bit) cool, but real, true, earnest & sincere coolness. I even got to put on a jacket for the first time since March!

Yeeeeeehaw!!!

Then there was this complex worker dude outside. He said "Good morning."

I said "Good morning" back.

Do you know how long it's been since I've said "Good morning" to anyone and it's actually been the morning?!

Booyah!

Did You Know That...?

1. Driving at 60mph on cruise control, it takes you approximately 37 minutes to circle the 610 loop.

2. That means that the 60 loop is approximately 37 miles long, cause you're taking 37 minutes, dividing it by 60 miles an hour, then multiplying it by 60 miles per hour.

Think of it this way:
37 minutes 1 hour 60 miles
---------- * -------- * --------- = Z
1 60 minutes 1 hour

37 minutes 1 hour 60 miles
---------- * -------- * --------- = Z
60 minutes 1 hour 1

37x60
----- = 60 miles*
60

*- "miles" being the only measuring quantity that is not divided unto itself. You see, you can divide measuring quantities just like you can numbers! Well, as long as you're equalizing them (and changing the value accordingly) and then they're cancelling each other out.

3. My father is a professional mathematician, in a way.

4. He hates being woken up at 4 in the morning for inane math questions.

5. He would also want to know why I am up at 4 in the morning.

6. So I didn't call him and figured it all out by myself.

7. Yes, I did generally get A's in math, thanks for asking.

8. This is all much more fun when it's 10 in the morning and you haven't gone to bed yet.

9. Driving loops around 610 does not cure insomnia.

UPDATE: 10. Nucleus doesn't like it when you use multiple spaces on an entry and just allows it to be for 1 space.

11. I don't know what the HTML code is to insert a space. It's something like the ampersand with nbsp or something.

12. I'm too lazy to look it up.

UPDATE II: 13. 1 Woodchipper + 8-10:30 in the morning = -|sleep|

14. When a value is surrounded by "|"s, that means it's the absolute value. The absolute value is what is assigned to a number when it is based on the deviation from the number 0, as opposed to it's actual value. So |4| could equal 4 or -4, since they both have the same deviation from 0.

15. By putting the negative sign in front of it, I was essentially saying that it equals "the negative absolute value of sleep" which means that I am soooo awake.

16. That's funny because I'm using mathematical terms to register my protest at the woodchipper outside.

17. Those who say "a joke isn't funny if you have to explain it" are wrong.

18. I crack me up.

You're welcome for the knowledge.