Tuesday, December 31, 2002
Self-Pityorama, Part Five: They Came For The CDs & Stayed For The Laptop
R. Alex Whitlock
My friend Brian said that, in my shoes, he'd have gone apeshit. Kevin says that he'd be out for blood. Surprisingly, I'm not as angry as I would have been. I'm not even as angry as I was prior to realizing that the laptop was among the stolen goods.

What really pissed me off was the realization the CDs were gone. Not just that I lost 20 or so original CDs (as opposed to burned), but that four of them were signed by Mark David Manders while we were both in a drunken stupor. It's a memory I'm never going to forget, but the beer-soaked CD that Manders didn't want to sign to begin with and the other three. that pissed me off.

But when I realized that the laptop was gone, I realized the depth of what had happened... and it's too big to get angry about, really. Or maybe the shock of having the shell out $2,000 to replace the bare minimum of what was taken hasn't sunk in yet. But really, what can ya do? Be thankful my new digital camera wasn't in the car, I suppose.

Of course, a question I'm being asked is whether or not I've "learned my lesson" in regards to leaving things in the car. Really, though, the big things were only there because of an avalanche of circumstances. It's the second time my CDs have been taken, though. My friend Jay suggests I stop keeping my CDs in there. Truthfully, without the CDs and CD player, they never would have broken into the car to begin with. The laptop was in what looks like a simple knapsack, so there's no way they saw it. Chances are they saw the portable CD player, the CD binder (but not the original presses, which were covered), and the tons of covered stuff and figured there was stuff in there worth having.

But I think about taking the CDs with me when I leave the car, and I'm just reluctant to. For the same reason I'm not as angry as I could be, I think. At the end of the day, it's just stuff. A lot of stuff and stuff that costs money, but I bought that stuff for a reason. Okay, two reasons and the second being so I could have it and some asshole with a cocaine fix won't pawn it, but the main reason is that I want to use it. I don't want to spend all my time looking after it and given my propensity to lose things, that's what I'd have to do. I lose and break a lot of things and I've gotten so tired and frustrated with it that I can't let it get to me anymore. I'm not positive the car was locked when the CDs were jacked the first time. This time it was locked so they just busted open the window. If I leave stuff in the apartment, they can just steel it from there. What's the point?

I'll just count my blessings that I can afford to replace it all. The new laptop is on its way.

But you can sure as hell bet that one is never spending the night in my car.

Ever.

Sorry bout the excessive self-indulgence of today. Regular posting will resume tomorrow.
Posted to Apropos el Dia with No observations
 
Mumble-Grumble, Part Four: Maybe Y'all Can Help Me
R. Alex Whitlock
95% of the CDs were taken were burned. I generally don't keep the original copies in the car (for this reason). Even the original copies I had out there were burned, with the exception of two:
1. Jason Boland's Live at Billy Bob's and
2. Max Stalling's Comfort in the Curves

Anyone that has these CDs burned and would like to donate to the Alex Recovering His Crap Fund in the form of MP3s... it'd be greatly appreciated.
Posted to Apropos el Dia with No observations
 
Dag Nabbit, Part Three: What I Love About Texas
R. Alex Whitlock
When I was filing the report for the stolen property, the cop took pains to point out:

1. It's legal to carry a concealed gun in Texas
2. If you catch him in your car, it's the same as catching them in your house. You can shoot them.
3. The police can't be everywhere, after all.
Posted to Apropos el Dia with No observations
 
Arrrrrrrh, Part Three: Letter to a Scum-Sucking Theif
R. Alex Whitlock
When my CDs were stolen in August, I wrote this letter to the thief. It's sad that I can basically have a template for people stealing my stuff, but oh well. Presented and adjusted for the new thief who took a lot more than just my CDs (green is new stuff, strikethrough is what the replaced text said):


Dear Person That Stole A Black Binder of CDs From Robbed Me Fraggin' Blind By Smashing The Window Of A Gold Ford Escort in the Parking Lot At Briarwood Apartments in Houston

At first I thought that I had misplaced them it was the weather that punched through the windshield, which was the case last time I thought someone stole my CDs is the case in the nice little world in which I like to delude myself into thinking I live, which is thoroughly unpopulated with scum-sucking maggots.. Turns out that isn't the case, the CDs were stolen and you exist. Congratulations on your procurement of over 80 CDs from my illustrious collection. As you will notice, most of them are not the original CDs but rather ones burned on my computer. Unfortunately for you, that means you don't get track lists that come with some of the CDs. Luckily for you, when the last scum-sucking maggot took my CDs I decided to start printing the track lists on them. Lucky you. Those are mostly the songs I have chosen from the various performers I enjoy. You have most likely not heard of most of them, which provides you an excellent opportunity to aquaint yourself with many of Texas's best musicians. The CDs I most recomment are ones by Phil Pritchett, Two of the three are actually originals that I will need to go out and buy again, but that's okay. You can make it up to me by playing it for all your friends so that they can hear all the majesty that is Phil. If you really enjoy the CDs, there are some additional songs available on his web site . I recommend Feeling Port Aransas, which is on the "Hum" CD. Luke Skywalker is also well-recieved.I would also strongly recommend "Beautiful Day," but that's a song about giving thanks to God for your gifts and not stealing other people's crap. Don't worry, though, Phil only has two faith-based songs, so feel free to listen to the rest of his songs to your hellbent heart's content.

There are too many great artists for me to name all of the good ones. One way you can tell is by quantity. If they are store-bought, it means I once liked it enough to buy the entire thing. Good stuff. If they get two CDs that don't have the same handwritten title, that means that I like them enough that my favorite songs don't fit on a single CD. If there are two CDs delineated by Version numbers (ie Great Divide v1 and v2) they are going to mostly contain the same music. I reburned them because I didn't like the track order. That means that I care enough about the artist that I wanted a better homebrewed CD, so they're good, too. If there is only one CD in there of an artist, you may want to give it a listen. If the original copy is in there, that means I liked it enough to buy the whole shebang, so you had better appreciate them, asswipe. Sadly, you probably disdain country music, otherwise I'd recommend a song by Jason Boland called "Shot Full of Holes" which is about a guy who is a fucking thief. You should be able to relate.I'm afraid there is a strong lack of rap, but you should get your fill of songs about fellow criminals and degenerates from some of the country stuff. Think Guy Clark and Steve Earle.

There is also one that I would particularly like to recommend. My best friend since the first grade Jason has two CDs in there under the band name Courtesy Flush. One from mp3.com and another that was homemade. His music is reminiscent of They Might Be Giants or Barenaked Ladies. Please give him a listen and if you like him, show him off to all your friends. It's really good stuff. "Smith's Severed Head" is a particular favorite and what I usually recommend for people I know to download from his site. If you take free stuff from other peoples' cars, the least you can friggin' do is take some of his music from online so he gets more hits and downloads.

Anyhow, I'm not bitter and honestly hope that you enjoy all the CDs you've gotten. Give them a listen. You won't be disappointed, dickhead.

Of course, you're probably going to pass right over my illustrious CD collection for my laptop. It's a standard IBM Thinkpad, though nearly a year old. If you go into the "Works" directory, you'll see a lot of writing by yours truly. There are three, count'em three (if you can count to three, you illiterate punk) novels in there (if you are not in fact illiterate, you illiterate punk). Unfortunately, none of the three are about grass-fornicating career criminals, so you may not be able to relate. The main character from my second novel breaks the law, though. Not sure if you'd like it, however, since he kills little fucktards like you. It also has themes of redemption and faith. Sorry, nothing about stealing other peoples' shit. Maybe next novel.

Have the best time you possibly can burning in Hell,
Alex

PS: My friend Brian says: "You skum fucking sheep's bladder, I hope your mom's head explodes all over you, and all your children are afflicted with Down's Syndrom -- Worse than yours. Asshole."

PPS: Not that I'm angry, cause if I get angry the terrorists win.
Posted to Letters To People with No observations
 
The Post-Racial State
R. Alex Whitlock
The election of two additional black lawmakers to the Assembly Nov. 5 has pushed Nevada ahead of all other states when it comes to black representation in state Legislatures.

Seven of the 63 state legislators who will assemble in Carson City on Feb. 3 are black, representing 11 percent of the Legislature. According to the 2000 census, blacks made up 6.8 percent of the state's population.

"It is a lot of progress for a state that used to be known as the Mississippi of the West," said Chuck Bremer, consultant to the National Black Caucus of State Legislators, where he also was executive director. "We are pleasantly surprised."
...
None of Nevada's black lawmakers was elected in districts where blacks are the majority.

Sen. Maurice Washington, R-Sparks, won a third term as senator in a Northern Nevada district that has a 2 percent black population. Sen. Bernice Mathews, D-Reno, earned a third term in a district with a 4 percent black population.

Horne's District 34 in Las Vegas is 5 percent black, while Atkinson's District 17 is 10 percent black.

Found this on Deregulator via Regions of Mind. Definitely worth a read.
Posted to The Melting Pot with No observations
 
Question of the Day: The Math Problem
R. Alex Whitlock
Here's a match problem for you logistical problem solver types. It's not too hard, though I goofed up on it myself. This wasn't the context in which I used it, but if I'd had more time during the November Novel project, I might have used it then.

In a month where there are 30 days, 22 weekdays and 8 weekend days, frustrated author R. Alex Whitlock wrote 10,000 words. His productivity during the week was higher than on weekends for a variety of reasons. In fact, his product on a weekday averaged exactly three times his productivity average for weekend days.

How many words did he write on each weekend day?
How many words did he write on each weekday day?
How many words did he write M-F the entire month?
How many words did he write Saturdays and Sundays for the month?
Why is he referring to himself in the third person?
Is he this weird in person?
How much sleep will it take to make posting like this go away?
Posted to Question of the Day with No observations
 
Sigh, Part One: The Timeline
R. Alex Whitlock
December 19
2:00AM -- My grandmother dies
7:45AM -- My father calls to give me the news, make plans for funeral in Fort Worth

December 22
5:45AM -- Prepare to leave for Fort Worth, pack up much reading material, clothes, laptop, other things to keep me over for the next couple days.

December 23
10:30PM -- Get home from Fort Worth, rain is pouring down and weather is wonderfully miserable, leave things in car.

December 24
7:30AM -- On my way to work, my drivers side rear tire explodes.
3:00PM -- Tire store closed for Christmas Eve
6:30PM -- Arrive at parents house, go out to Christmas Eve Parties.

December 25
9:00PM -- Leave home with Dad's because his drive to work is more conducive to a donut

December 26
Morning-- Tire and front windshield fixed

December 30
Afternoon -- Radiator fixed
7:00PM -- Have dinner with parents to switch cars
9:00PM -- Finished eating, move everything out of Dad's car into my car, try to make room with the gifts and soforth in back.
9:15PM -- Parents leave, weather is cold and wet, will empty out car tomorrow. Lock car, go inside.

December 31
2:00AM -- Go to bed
7:00AM -- Wake up
7:30AM -- Get coke from coke machine, notice rear passenger windshield out
7:35AM -- Notice everything removed from car.
Posted to Apropos el Dia with No observations
 
 
Monday, December 30, 2002
Required Reading For Teenage Car Shoppers...
R. Alex Whitlock
and/or their parents.

The Best and Worst Makeout Cars.
Posted to Women and Men with No observations
 
 
Sunday, December 29, 2002
From The Pages Of A Metropolitan Newspaper
R. Alex Whitlock
America no longer land of the free
By Skuz Deth

Many people ask me, ?Hey Skuz, what do you think of the current state of our union??

I tell them that I am most displeased. When the grand tribe of Indians founded our country, they intended for it to be a free nation where people could speak freely. I?m 1/36th Irigonquin and I can tell you they?re spinning in their Celestial Camel Hunting Ground!

All across our country, free speech is being stifled. Sure, I may have gotten this column published in this major metropolitan newspaper, but I fully expect to receive thousands of letters from people who will try to argue what I am saying on its merits. The implicit threat is that if I don?t know what I?m talking about, I should shut up. See? They?re trying to shut me up in this supposedly free country of ours.

The talk of the day seems to be going to war with Iraq, but it?s merely the latest stage in High Master Bush?s phony war. Despite evidence from France, a truly free country where the age of consent is fifteen and I can smoke weed wherever I want, people still believe the 9/11 ?attacks? actually happened.

Whether you believe they did or not, you can?t be so naïve as to believe that Bush didn?t plan this. If so, please explain to me why it just so happened that Bush wasn?t in the World Trade Center or the Pentagon that day. Yeah, that?s what I thought.

So now he wants to attack Iraq. What has Iraq done to deserve this kind of treatment? Supposedly they invaded Kuwaitt, but how does our invasion of Afghanistan fit in to that? Besides, fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Killing is totally wrong and stuff.

The other argument is that Saddam Hussein oppresses his own people. Well, maybe he does gas the Kurds, but keep in mind that Bush wants to drill for oil in the caribou habitat of Alaska. So I ask you, which country is truly the most unfree here?

Meanwhile our country here is going to Hell in a Handbasket. The economy is in the crapper, Little Baby Jesus is starving in the street, and God is dead and nobody cares!

People are trying to say it?s the fault of the businessmen who are supposedly stealing from the people, but what no one realizes is that capitalism is theft! I?ve made millions off of our latest CD release, live concert DVD, and other paraphernalia, and it?s really had to live with that. My new kick-ass stereo system helps, but I cry when I think about the starving children in Africa that put it together in the Calcutta sweatshop.

We need to come to terms with the fact that we now live in a totalitarian state. The rich get richer, the fat get fatter, and the stoned become fewer and further in between. What happened to the 60?s, man? We wave our flags and open our lands to drilling while my Indian ancestors cry. Like in that commercial.

Go Nader! Rock on!

-Skuz Deth, a native New Yorker born Simon Gurstein, is the drummer for the punk rock band Flaming Monkey Turds, and thus a qualified analyst of geopolitical issues.-
Posted to Land of the Free with 1 observation
 
 
Saturday, December 28, 2002
Cogent Thoughts on Kwanzaa
R. Alex Whitlock
Kathy Kinsley is reading my mind in this post on the neotraditional holiday of Kwanzaa:
I'm basically uninterested in, and seriously unenthused about, Kwanzaa because it is a holiday to which I am uninvited because of an accident of birth. I could convert to Islam and celebrate Ramadan. I could convert to Judaism and celebrate Passover. I can celebrate the secular side of Christmas no matter what my religion (and no matter how many Christians that makes unhappy). I can attempt to become a British citizen so I can celebrate Guy Fawkes day (and they'd probably love it if I celebrated it as an American anyway). But I can't celebrate Kwanzaa because my skin isn't the right color.
...
I know a lot of blacks, and many of them celebrate Christmas. One wished me a Happy Hanukkah a few weeks ago. I wished him a Merry Christmas. We both grinned. (Yes, there are black Jews.) If he'd wished me a Happy Kwanzaa I'd have responded the same way, and he could like it ? or not. That's America, Ann, we all celebrate what we like. Live with it. The President isn't damnable for recognizing a holiday some enjoy. Even if many of us think it's nonsense.
Posted to The Melting Pot with No observations
 
Last Minute Christmas Shopping
R. Alex Whitlock
Last Page had some helpful hints for last minute shoppers, of which I was one:
Just a quick reminder that 7-11 and Texacos are almost always open for Christmas. A can of Chef-Boyar-dee's Ravioli with a pop-top, some Cool Ranch Doritos, a Twix bar and a "40" of Colt 45 could probably top the Christmas lists of any of your loved ones.
Right down the street from my parents house is a convenience store. They sell watches there. The kind of watches that look nice, but cost $10 and leave your wrists green. I should know, I'm wearing one on my green wrist right now.

So Christmas day I went down to the convenience store to pick up a couple odds and ends and the little watchstand was nearly empty. In all my years of going there, it's never been close to empty. Now why do you suppose it was empty? More importantly, how are they going to explain the watch's reciever why their wrists are green?
Posted to Apropos el Dia with No observations
 
Oh So Thoughtful Critiques of Bush's Foreign Policy
R. Alex Whitlock
It's one thing to be a hawk and have your hawkishness rooted in a cold-eyed realism and a willingness to use force, quite another to have it stem from emotional impulses arising from the fact that you grew up as a pencil neck and constantly had your lunch money stolen from you by the cool kids.

I can't give you the precise lunch money victimization statistics for various civilian political appointees at the Pentagon, for staffers in the Office of the Vice-President, Richard Perle or even Frank Gaffney. But I suspect most folks who are familiar with these guys will know what I'm getting at. This isn't about blaming America first. It's about making sure America is as smart as she can be in her own interests, about managing the realities of the unipolar world system in ways that most benefit our long-term interests rather than simply doing what we can force through in the near-term. What we're learning is that there's a price you pay for telling everyone else in the world they can #$%& themselves and trying to govern the globe by sporadic applications of blunt force.

So what's missing here and from the entire piece? Oh yeah, what specifically his problems with the policy are other than that it's people he doesn't like pursuing them. There's allusions on the "being too unilateral" front, but I've yet to see from him a clear explanation of what approach we could use to get the support for invading Iraq from countries that quite simply do not want us to invade Iraq.
Posted to Wars and Rumors of War with No observations
 
From a Newsgroup: The Phantom Shitter, Part II
R. Alex Whitlock
After Mr. Garland posted the original story, people piled on to hear about the rest of the story. He magnanimously complied.

You asked for it. So here goes.

Let me begin by describing the typical passenger(s) on the Seabourn Sun.
Most passengers were married and a surprisingly large number of married couples included a husband of about 75 to 85 years old and a very well preserved (through plastic surgery, exercise, cosmetics, etc.) 60 to 65 year old wife. Half of the 700 passengers were Brittish and half of these literally spoke the "Queens English".

The general atmosphere on this ship was friendly but very reserved. Many of the passengers had sailed numerous times on the ship and one couple whom we befriended occupied the penthouse suite for four months every year. This particular couple actually left their clothing on the ship year round. The highlight of the day for most passengers was "team trivia", played every day at noon.

Most of the crew were holdovers from the Royal Viking Sun. Some very important priorities for this ship included order, politeness, and CONSISTENCY. I have two examples:

1. One night after dinner, a group of passengers stayed around the piano that was played outside the dining room. When they began to sing along with the pianist, they were quickly and politely silenced by the cruise director.

2. On the eveing that I discovered and reported the shit (about 8:00 PM), the elevator involved was taken out of commission until after midnight. This was not because it took them four hours to clean and fumigate. Rather, it was because the shit was located on on a removable piece of carpet in the middle of the elevator on which the day of the week was embossed. It seems they only had enough daily maps for each elevator. Thus, rather than confuse the guests for four hours with the wrong day in this elevator, they decided to take it our of service for four hours.

Back to the fantom shitter.

Two days afer I discovered the shit, I was again in the elevator alone on my way to the dining room. (Eileen is an addicted gambler and when we are not dining, dancing, sleeping or romancing, she can always be found in the casino). When the elevator doors opened, I found myself face to face with this woman (or perhaps a man I thought). She was in her mid thirties, very tall, and butt ugly. She was dressed in a black leather miniskirt, a red halter made of ostrich feathers, and she donned long blue satin evening gloves on her arms.

When I described her to my tablemates, one of the couples who were actually the bridge instructors on the ship, indicated that they knew exactly who I was talking about. They stated that this woman was married to a 100 year old man whom she had met one year earlier on the ship. They went on to tell me how mean she was to this guy and how the dealers in the casino had complained about her behavior. It seems that every night, she would come to the casino and and sit at a blackjack table with one leg thrown over the lap of her wheelchair bound, 100 year old husband. The dealers reported that she never wore any underwear and she cursed like a truck driver (sorry for the cliche but that's how it was stated) whenever she lost a hand.

That night, I witnessed the scene firsthad in the casino. I even got Eileen to look away from her video poker machine for a few minutes.

Within days this woman had become the talk of the ship. And she was obviously the fantom shitter, because she had both motive (she was completely insane) and opportunity (she never wore underwear). By the second week of the cruise, she was banned from entering the casino.

The story continues.

On day 13 or 14, we arrived in Casablanca. The 100 year old man got very sick and was taken to the hospital. His devoted wife was quoted as stating that there was "no fucking way she was staying in Morocco with him". She got back on the ship by herself. That same evening, it was reported that during dinner in the dining room, she removed a mirror from her purse, ran three lines of cocaine on the mirror, and began to snort the stuff.

She was immediately put under house arrest and locked in her cabin (there is no brig on the Seabourn Sun). For the remaining five or six days of this cruise, she spent hours on end, kicking her stateroom door and cursing at the top of her lungs. This was very disturbing for the guests who occupied nearby cabins but very amusing for the rest of us.

So that's the true story.

Howard Garland
Posted to This Modern World with No observations
 
From a Newsgroup: The Phantom Shitter, Part I
R. Alex Whitlock
My mother showed me these this morning. Since I'm guessing there's probably not a whole lot of overlap between the rec.travel.cruises usenet group and RAWbservations, I wanted to show you a humorous story you'd otherwise not read:
Eileen and I were on a 19 day Atlantic crossing of the Seabourn Sun. On day 4 of this cruise, I stepped into one of the rear elevators on my way to dinner. When the doors closed I was overcome with a disgusting odor. I looked down and found that someone had left a pile of feces in the center of the elevator. I was alone in the elevator and my first thought was "what if the doors open and someone thinks that I did this." When the elevator stopped, I was relieved to find that no one was waiting there to board. I rushed to dinner and quickly told my tablemates what I had encountered. After some laughing, they convinced me to report this to purser's desk. I left the table and went to the purser's desk.

I stated: "Someone has had an accident in one of the rear elevators."
Reply: "Have they fallen? Are they hurt?"
I stated: "No, not that kind of accident."
Reply: "Are they sick?"
I stated: "There is a pile of shit in the elevator."
The expression of horror on the desk clerks face was indescribable.

The next evening, one of the women at our table reported that while walking in the corridor outside her stateroom, she also encountered a pile of shit. She went on to tell us that when she reported this to the purser's desk, her conversation went pretty much like mine had.

Before the first week of this cruise was over, we had discovered the identity of this fantom shitter; but that is a whole other story.

Howard Garland
Posted to This Modern World with No observations
 
 
Friday, December 27, 2002
Bill Frist The Racist, Part 7235151324
R. Alex Whitlock
In the whole Marshall/Kaus debate regarding Bill Frist and the alleged racial pandering thereof, moderate-liberal Will Saletan brings up an interesting point:
I went back to Frist's 1994 campaign in search of evidence for the race-baiting theory. Instead, I found good evidence against it?evidence that the Associated Press, New York Times, and Los Angeles Times didn't include in stories mentioning the Barry remark. In July 1994, three months before he brought up Barry, Frist aired a TV ad that depicted Sasser's face on Mount Rushmore alongside the faces of Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, and Dan Rostenkowski. The ad called them "tax and spend career politicians." Rostenkowski was under indictment and was eventually jailed for misappropriating government funds.

You can argue that Rostenkowski, like Barry, had little to do with Tennessee. But that's the point. Racism requires differential treatment. Frist reached for every villain he could hang on Sasser. Black or white, he didn't care.

Does anyone else remember in 1998 when Agricultural Commissioner Rick Perry ran negative campaign ads by tying together John Sharp and Bill Clinton? If Clinton were black, would it suddenly have become racist? Just a question.

Feel free to comment, I am going to avoid a drawn out argument like the plague, however.
Posted to The Melting Pot with No observations
 
I'm Never Going To Complain About Houston Politics Again*
R. Alex Whitlock
Rolon would assign gang members fluent in English and Spanish to do door-to-door work. They'd canvass the neighborhood to see how many residents supported their candidate. Those residents were counted as "plus votes." On Election Day, his crew of gang members--a dozen per precinct--would descend on buildings with the most plus votes and urge the residents to go to the polls. If an elderly or disabled person needed a ride, it would be arranged.

Rolon paid his workers $75 to $100 for the day and made them dress respectably in white oxford shirts and ties. "Larry Hoover liked that," Rolon said of the imprisoned Gangster Disciples chairman. "The Gangster Disciples started passing out shirts and ties to their guys on the South Side."

Not that Rolon's workers always behaved respectably. They weren't above such minor dirty tricks as tearing down opposing candidates' signs. That work was often left to "shorties"--very young gang members who wouldn't be missed if they were picked up by the police.

"I learned it from the mob," Rolon said of politics, "and then I used it for the Spanish aldermen. . . . In gang neighborhoods, a precinct guy's got to be connected to the gangs or have a gang member or leader working under him. That's the only way you're going to win your precinct in a hotly contested gang neighborhood. If the gangs don't work for you, they work against you."

[sigh]

*- Today.
Posted to Land of the Free with No observations
 
Cloning and Hygiene
R. Alex Whitlock
Not only has this woman changed the meaning of humanity as we know it, she's done something that has far more impact in my life. She's convinced me to brush my teeth (again) right when I get home.

She's also helped me out considerably with my post-holiday diet. Don't think I'll be hungry again for a while.
Posted to This Modern World with No observations
 
 
Thursday, December 26, 2002
I Hate It When This Happens
R. Alex Whitlock
I can't recommend this Jonathon Alter column on charter schools enough:
The Blob?s new game, at work now in Illinois, is to pay lip service to charter schools by allowing them for special ed or disruptive students. Then the school boards get to boast that the test scores of their own conventional schools have gone up (because they don?t have to average in the weakest kids who?ve been put in charters), but the charter school scores have not. When some of these charter schools close, the establishment can say, ?See! They don?t work!? Of course the fact that six percent of charter schools have been shut down, cited by critics as a sign of failure, is actually an indication that the idea is working. Unlike most conventional schools, charters actually have to perform to survive.
Posted to Academia with No observations
 
Meet The New I-10, Now Known as Miramax Freeway
R. Alex Whitlock
The freeway chase was the first sequence the Wachowskis tackled for the sequels, and they spent months searching for the perfect location. The brothers wanted their freeway to have a sense of doom about it; not surprisingly, most urban planners try to avoid that. So the search came up empty. The brothers? solution was a tad unconventional: they dumped the idea of shooting on an existing freeway and built their own. In February 2001, they hired a construction crew to erect a two-mile loop?complete with exit signs, dividers, an on ramp and an overpass?on an old U.S. naval base in Alameda, Calif. When they first heard the idea, the construction guys nearly keeled over. ?They actually said to us, ?We?re not doing this?,? recalls executive producer Grant Hill. ?They couldn?t believe it was for a movie. They said, ?Do you realize how much this costs?? ? Correct answer: $300,000 per quarter mile. ?We just looked at each other and said, ?OK, we can do that?.?

How many Houstonians would be willing to endure a freeway with "a sense of doom about it" in return for not having to pick up the tab? Heck, Austin's got the doom mojo without being subsidized by the movie industry!

[Newsweek article via Amygala]
Posted to Culture with No observations
 
 
Saturday, December 21, 2002
See? I Haven't Been Entirely Non-Productive!
R. Alex Whitlock
Here's my take on the recent musings of Joshua Micah Marshall.
Posted to Pacs n Donks with No observations
 
Letters To People Who Don't Read This Blog: The Would-be Romeo
R. Alex Whitlock
This is a new feature, or something to that effect. I have a full post but I won't quite be in shape to write it until tomorrow. Right now, you get this.

Dear lead-singer-of-the-opening-band-at-the-Firehouse,

You were really quite good, and I don't say that freely. A good compliment of rock and country. The lead guitarist was quite good. Alas, I'm not here to talk to him. I'm here to talk to you. Or type, as it were.

All evidence suggests that you are a pretty young guy. Younger than me, I'd suspect. As such, we gotta talk. I admire your enthusiasm and you dressing and acting the part of a rocker. There's only one problem, and I think you know what it is. At least, I hope so. Maybe you don't, in which case we definitely gotta talk.

If you're younger than me, I admit that it's totally unfair. I mean, completely. Genetics is the cruelest science. Nonetheless, you need to face the genetics you're up against. Long hair can make you look like a rocker, to a point. Unfortunately, it also had certain side-effects when you're body is conspiring against you as I fear yours is. No matter how long you grow your hair out, if I can see the reflection of the lights in your balding scalp, it just doesn't look right. The longer the hair, the more right it doesn't look. You may think we didn't notice but, dude, really, we have eyes. I hear shaved heads are all the rage and I suggest you look into that. Maybe Rogain, which I head is quite effective. Charlie Robison even mentions it in a song. No one will know!

Sincerely,
The Author of The Blog You Don't Read
Posted to Letters To People with No observations
 
Hometown Friends
R. Alex Whitlock
Ran into a girlfriend that I used to date
She got married back in April but she said she couldn't wait
cause she had a newborn baby six months after that day
and she said a debt to life is a debt you gotta pay

Hometown friends mean a lot to me
but the longer I'm here, the less of them I see
and the further I get it seems the longer I'm away
I guess time equals distance that way
-Phil Pritchett

Pira and I never dated. We barely even talked. She is pregnant, though, with her second child. I wasn't sure it was her at first. It turned out she had seen me and was equally unsure. Her face lit up when I asked if she was who I thought she was, which was definitely a relief to me. I was hesitant to ask in case I had the wrong person and these kinds of meetings can be awkward when two people who never knew each other all that well run out of things to say. Luckily, we never did.

We gave the basic updates of what we've been doing. She went to A&M and changed majors a couple times before relocating to Houston and having their first child. They just bought their first house and she's going back to school next year after the baby is born. I told her that I'd gone to the University of Houston and lived here in one part of town or another non-stop since graduation. We talked about Clear Lake High School and Seabrook Intermediate, talking about various people that we knew.

"Did you know so-and-so?"
"The name sounds familiar..."
"She did so-and-so..."
"I think I knew of her though I didn't know her personally..."

Clear Lake had nearly 4,000 students, so it was hard to get to know everyone even if you wanted to. In truth, I really didn't care to anyway. Most of my friends went to school elsewhere, I didn't participate in any extra-curricular activities, and by and large never really liked it all that much there. She didn't do much in the way of extra-currilar activities (both our names appear in the yearbook once, it would seem), but she was in honors classes whereas I was in regular.

Her last name was Whitley, and mine being Whitlock we were in homeroom together throughout. Also, in junior high when class seating arrangements were done in alphabetical order, she invariably sat behind me. In Mrs. Neely's math class in the sixth grade, we passed out papers back to be graded. Apparently, I was such a good math student that she took great delight any time I got an answer wrong because it was so rare. Some years later, my skills (or interest or both) deteriorated to such a degree that my PreCal teacher would call me a degenerate.

I think we talked more last night than we ever talked in our four years at Lake. What I mostly remember about her was that she was always so nice. Attractive enough to be a part of the exclusionary in-crowd, she never went that route. Most high schools are cliquish, but posh Clear Lake was moreso than most. Particularly those that came out of Clear Lake Intermediate, which Pira and I did not. Part of me wishes that I'd been more engaged at CLHS like I ended up being at UH. Four years there and more of my memories from that period have to do with things happening miles away in Katy, Spring, and Houston. Pira recognizes me, but I wonder how many will at my ten year reunion?

And what was one of the first things she remembers about me?

"You were always so quiet."

Some things, I guess, haven't changed as much as I'd have liked.
Posted to Love and Love Lost with No observations
 
The Mystery of the Dude in the White Hat
R. Alex Whitlock
To the Dude in the White Hat:
Say again? Oh yeah sure, I'll save your place. A beer? That'd be great! Thanks a lot!

To the Blond in the White Button Shirt and Jeans:
Huh? Say again? My friend? Are you talking about Jennifer? Oh, 'that guy', that helps. Doug's in the back making out with his girlfriend so I have no idea who you're talking talking about. OH! The Dude in the White Hat! He's not my friend, sorry. Yeah, I guess he is attractive. I only talked to him a couple minutes ago. No, I don't know if he's single. Hell, I don't even know his name. Sorry. If you say he has a great smile, I'll just take your word on that. He does look familiar, I'll grant you that. No, I don't know him. Sorry. You can come up and talk to him when he gets back. You want to pretend to know me to talk to him? Knock yourself out... oh, it's Alex. Bye.

To the Dude in the White Hat:
Thanks, man. Can you save my spot this time?
[later]
Oh, my turn to save your spot? Sure thing.

To the Brunette in the Red Tube Shirt
Huh? My friend? The Dude in the White Hat? No, I don't really know him. Yeah, I know who you're talking about... the one that bought me the beer. He's just a really nice guy. No clue. I can't introduce you really because I don't know him or you. Yes, I've heard he has a nice smile. Yeah, he does look familiar, doesn't he? Maybe he's a musician? I really don't know. Yeah, okay, bye.

Dub Miller to the audience:
... and I'd also like to thank a couple special guests who showed up tonight. Wade Bowen of West 84 [not him] some other guy who is not the Dude in the White Hat...

To Monica:
Oh, hello. No, I'm really sorry, I don't know who he was, but I think he's left. Sorry, maybe next time. Oh, me? I'm Alex, you are? Pleasure to meet you Monica...
Posted to Texas Music Revolution with No observations
 
 
Thursday, December 19, 2002
Cheatin' Unfaithful Hearts
R. Alex Whitlock
The Unfaithful DVD had a poll commissioned for it:
While many cultures provide men more leeway than women to be unfaithful to their spouses, Americans surveyed responded overwhelmingly to that double standard -- nearly eight of ten (78%) said that an unfaithful woman is no worse than an unfaithful man. As far as forgiveness, the survey's participants were divided. Two in five (38%) said they would forgive their spouses if they discovered their infidelity, while the same number (38%) said they would be unable to forgive an unfaithful spouse, and 20% were unsure.

On a more personal level, a heartening majority -- 67% of those surveyed -- have not experienced infidelity in their own marriages. One in five (20%) of middle-aged participants (45-64 years old) have experienced infidelity in their marriages, compared to one in ten Americans under the age of 45 (12%) or over the age of 65 (10%).

These kinds of polls are not exactly the most reliable, but I think the comparitive data is interesting. Particularly that the highest reported instances of infidelity are 45-64. Is that because they're of the infamous boomer generation or because those under 45 just haven't cheated yet and those over 65 just missed the sexual revolution boat? What other theories y'all got?
Posted to Women and Men with No observations
 
Peace's Piece
R. Alex Whitlock
Armed Liberal notes Gray Davis's new director of finance has a dubious history:
[Former State Senator Steve] Peace is famous for two things: he?s fabulously temperamental, and as far as I know, not widely loved in the Legislature (I?ll go to Ann Salisbury for confirmation), but even better, he was the main water-carrier for the corporate energy interests that demolished the budget with their ill-planned (from the state, utility, and consumer?s point of view) deregulation of the energy markets.

He's missing Peace's real crowning achievement, though. He starred in and was one of the writers of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

(For those of you curious: No, I'm not joking.)
Posted to This Modern World with No observations
 
I Was Named After Her
R. Alex Whitlock
When I was about six or seven or so, my extended family came down from Fort Worth to visit us for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or some other special occasion. Since they all lived in the same town, it was an unusual event for them to be down here as we are usually the ones to trek up there. I remember proudly showing off my Grandmother to Sean, my best friend at the time. We introduced her to Mikey, a little stuffed monkey that was chief among our playthings (I saw ours because it was his, but somehow I ended up with it). She smiled and said "You two are the little monkeys."

That the Houston memory. There are too many to recall in Fort Worth. Next to my own house, I probably spent more nights in hers than any other. I remember the geography of the area like the back of my hand, even though it was sold a year or two back as she became unable to take care of herself. Her back yard was my personal baseball field, football field, and theater stage. Her house was filled with pictures of all of us, including a silhouette portrait of each of her grandchildren. I was her baby grandson, the youngest of the lot by the four years between my brother and I.

My father called me at 7:45 this morning to inform me that she passed away last night. It wasn't a surprise. I got an email forwarded from my Aunt Marilyn to Dad to me informing me that she'd had another light stroke and was unable to eat. Even before this, we all knew that she was fading pretty fast. I haven't seen her in over a year, but I don't think she'd know who I was anymore even if I had.

My mother's father died before I was born. I knew my mother's mother, but only barely. One day I asked "What happened to my other grandmother" and was informed that she had passed away. My Great Aunt Sarah ("Aunt Sister") was my surrogate grandmother on that side of the family. My father's father died when I was pretty young, but I remember him. Physically, I probably take as much from him (my build, my hair) as anyone else on that side of the family. With the rest of my grandparents gone (including Aunt Sister), she was the last remaining one.

Some things, no matter how much you know they're coming, you just can't prepare for.

Faye Alexandria (Coston) Whitlock
Born: November 20, 1916
Parents: Grover Cleveland Coston and Lena Kerbow Coston
3 sisters: Virginia, Eugenia (d), and Lorainne
1 brother: Wayland (d)


Keywords: RayfordWhitlock
Posted to Mi Familia with No observations
 
 
Wednesday, December 18, 2002
The Greatest Thing About Doing Business With CDW
R. Alex Whitlock
You're rarely put on hold, but when you are you wish it would last longer because they play those great CDW radio commercials while you wait.
Posted to Apropos el Dia with No observations
 
He Said it Better Than I Did!
R. Alex Whitlock
The elusive TPB, Esquire writes his own take on an ALI release and the John Leo column that I wrote about earlier (and found through him, incidentally, completing the circle).

Without any detailed statistical evidence, I suppose the most compelling notion that homosexual unions attack is that marital unions exist and are promoted by the State so that the State can promote procreation. The State has an interest, albeit a conflicted one, given abortion laws, in encouraging its citizenry to procreate. However, this interest is satisfied, in most states, by homosexual unions through the rights of homosexuals to adopt, to obtain artificial insemination (and for the non-biological parent to also adopt in such circumstances), and to become parents through various means. See V.C. v. M.J.B. (New Jersey Supreme Court). Thus, the concern that homosexual unions are destructive to the State?s traditional interest in having its citizenry bear fruit, so to speak, is moot.

What other possible State interest exists with regard to marriage that would be damaged by homosexual unions? Well, let?s speak of the one no one would like to admit exists: the religious interest. Marriage, for the most part, is promoted by the State in a manner that is no different from the promotion of marriage by religions. In fact, the language of a civil marital ceremony is basically a watered-down version of the Anglican/Protestant/Catholic marriage ceremonies. Fortunately, unlike the Catholic ceremony, the civil one is only an hour long and omits the incense. However, the underpinnings of marriage, the values that require the ceremony to be constructed as it is, have no basis in law and public policy. The ceremony exists as it does because most Judeo-Christian religions demand that of marriage.

This religious basis for the format of the ceremony has worked its way into the policy arguments in favor of traditional, heterosexual (only) marriage. ?It?s a sacred event.? Civil marriage is sacred? Really. I was always of the belief that nothing was sacred to the State, and that the State left the sacred to the people (and their respective faiths). ?It would be damaged by homosexuals having the right to marry.? Why? From where does this attitude concerning homosexuals stem? I can think of plenty of places (i.e., the Old Testament, which is a wonderful work, but not quite part of the founding documents, last time I checked). From cultural tradition? Hmm? Well, we don?t want to go down that road. Based on cultural tradition, miscegenation (inter-racial marriage) should be banned. From economics? Not quite. Most economists find that homosexuals, and homosexual communities especially, are quite beneficial to a region. They have low crime rates, high rates of spending, and moderate to high income rates.

Hey, just cause I'm gonna keep my mouth shut for a spell doesn't mean I can't let others talk (and, incidentally, take all the heat).
Posted to Sex and Consequences with No observations
 
Just Trying To Do a Niche Job
R. Alex Whitlock
Susanna Cornett asks her readers what they'd like from her blog. Should she stick with her niche and risk being a one-trick pony or branch out? I vote the latter, but I can understand both views.

I've been plagued by the niche question for some time now. Truth is, I never actually figured out what this blog was supposed to become. Ideas ranged anywhere from my philosophical thoughts on people and interactions to hard-core political-junkie stuff. Whatever my choice, though, I realized that there are others who do it and most likely others that do it a lot better. Holding down a full-time job and trying to write a novel (and one of these days I am going to achieve a "social life" again, too!) limits my ability to be as thorough as I might like on topics requiring research. That I'm not pseudononymous prevents me from getting too in-depth regarding my personal life as I am, more often than not, a private person. I wasn't going to go public until I figured it out, but Jane Galt and Dr. Manhatten (flatteringly) jumped the gun and linked up to a couple political posts, and so that's been my focus more or less.

I quit writing for the Daily Cougar a month early in part because I started to run out of things to say. My columns had become increasingly partisan (though I'd like to think not mindlessly so) and what used to be a week-long project of finding the right things to say was becoming, instead, something I throw together at 2am on Wednesday night for my Friday column. More than that, though, I'd simply become tired of it all. Election 2000 drained me in a number of ways and once that was all settled, I was about ready for detox. I've followed politics since, but never as closely or passionately as when I worked at the Cougar.

Party of me wants to just throw my hands in the air, shut my eyes, vote, and just ignore it all. That feeling has been a lot stronger lately. The Trent Lott issue means more to me than a spineless politician that coddles to racists. This marks the second occasion that a politician that I once held in high regard has proven himself to be an utterly worthless person. To make matters worse, liberals and Democrats can say "Hey, we told you so!" The first politician was Bill Clinton, whom I proudly voted for in 1996. I was told that he was a liar and a scoundrel and I simply didn't listen. Republicans said that about a lot of Democrats. Democrats call a lot of Republicans racists. That Trent Lott is more racist than most or Bill Clinton more immoral was lost in the constant wave of shouting that has been our political discourse for as long as I've been a part of it.

I have little interest in being a partisan warrior. I am a Republican because I support their policies more than I support the Democratic ones, or maybe I should say that I oppose the Democratic policies more than I do the Republican. It used to be the other way around. Then as now, I have serious issues with the party that I generally support. Yet, if I voice these issues, it's used as a bludgeon against the party I support on other issues. I can remain silent, but that feels dishonest. I can pretend not to be conservative at all, but who would I be kidding?

But I also don't think I could completely pull out of the political discourse if I tried. I'm interested in policy. I'm civic-minded and have strong beliefs about the way this country should be (and should not be). I'm interested in ideas and having those ideas challenged and, when wrong, changed. But I'm not interested in being called a racist or that because I believe in lower taxes and less government that I support racism. Nor am I interested in shouting along with those calling Democrats unpatriotic or otherwise morally dubious. Yet it seems that all political discourse eventually lowers to that level.

For those of you that missed the point of the flipping post below, it's watching a magnanimous consensus devolve into political positioning and cynical campaigning. Trent Lott became more useful to the Democrats alive than dead so many pondered that they should keep him around. Republicans saw that he was hurting them and, though they don't agree that he necessarily did anything truly wrong, he should resign for the sake of the party. Who's up? Who's down? At this point, I don't really care. And as long as I don't, I'm not sure I have all that much to say, politically speaking.

I've decided that I'm going to keep posting, though I'm not sure what. I got an Allison Reynolds post that I promised and later on today I'll post the excerpt from my book that I said I would in the comments section. I've asked my roommate Jason to post anything political if he feels so inclined, so we'll see. Poster Girl is either finished with her last exam or finishing it this week, so maybe she'll post something.

Beyond that, I don't know what comes next. Could be something new, could be that two months from now nothing will have changed. Such has been my life these days...
Posted to Blog News with No observations
 
A Prototype of the Way a Conversation Should Be
R. Alex Whitlock
Co-worker: We're going to need to send out an email to make sure everyone's time is updated on Friday, because you know we have to have it ready for the Christmas holidays.

RAW: Don't worry about it. I'm going to go remind everyone personally.

Cow: Great!

as opposed to...

Co-worker: We're going to need to send out an email to make sure everyone's time is updated on Friday, because you know we have to have it ready for the Christmas holidays.

RAW: Don't worry about it. I'm going to go remind everyone personally.

Cow: Okay, well just remember that they have to put the time in because of the Christmas holidays and we need it ready by Monday morning

RAW: I know, that's why I'm going to tell everyone to do it, like I just said.

Cow: Okay, well I'm just reminding you because it will really be a problem if they're not all in by Monday morning...

RAW: It'll be taken care of.

Cow: Good, because the time needs to be in by Friday so that on Monday morning, cause of the holidays...

[Alex explodes]
Posted to Treadmill with No observations
 
She's On a Train?
R. Alex Whitlock

"In just three pictures, a Louis Vuitton ad captures the luxurious eroticism of train travel."

Oh, yeah... the eroticism in those pics are all about the train.
Posted to Commerce with No observations
 
 
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
McNapstermart?
R. Alex Whitlock
From Fox News:
McDonald's Corp. warned Tuesday the protracted sales slump that already has forced it to change CEOs and reverse expansion plans will result in the first quarterly loss in its 47-year history.

The announcement, which came 12 days after a management shake-up, sent shares in the burger giant tumbling to a nearly eight-year low.

I'll bet that McDonalds wishes it had a Napster to blame all its woes on.
Posted to Commerce with No observations
 
Nation of Neobastards
R. Alex Whitlock
Marriage, today, is not in very good shape. A lot of what John Leo describes explains why:
What they do tend to support is known as "close relationship theory," the idea that sexual and emotional satis- faction comes from intense, fragile, and often short-term relationships that aren't necessarily going anywhere. One advocate calls them "microwave relationships," cooked up fast, served, and consumed, presumably with other similar meals to come. It all seems like the dream world of a randy adolescent chasing cheerleaders. Marriage is knocked off its pedestal, and the family itself fades away. Children tend to fade away, too, in close-relationship theory, as emphasis comes down hard on adult fulfillment.

But then came this (actually, it came at the top and almost tainted my opinion of the entire article):
The report validates homosexual relationships and gives them a status comparable to that of marriage. If accepted, this idea would lead immediately to the next legal argument: If gay and straight commitments have the same status in state law, isn't it picky and discriminatory to withhold the word marriage from the gay version? Heterosexual couples who live together would also get the same status as husbands and wives, blurring or eliminating another line between marriage and serial affairs.

Were it not for this one paragraph, it would have been a splendid article. There are a lot of problems in the current state of marriage, including some calls by libertarians to abolish it as an official institutional and some calls by feminists for a female boycott of the "patriarchial institution." More problematic is what I would call the "perpetual gratification requirement" of modern relationships in general. That is the belief that every month should feel like the first and anything less than feeling the exact same way is socially considered grounds for divorce and leads to what the real problem with marriage today, which ain't gay marriages, John.

Gays want their committed relationships to be viewed in the same legal context as the heterosexual marriage. That way, they can enjoy the benefits of what they presumably desire to be long-term commitment. Conservatives by and large stand in the way of this because they adamently disapprove of homosexual relations in general. They don't always say that, though. What they usually say is that marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman and that inviting gays into the institution will weaken it. Inviting gays into the institution will lead to non-romantic partners wanting in, too. Next thing you know minors will want to get married! People marrying goats. Dogs marrying cats! Mass-hysteria!!

Let's back up for a moment.

Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of dating a nice young lady that I'll call Katherine. Things were moving along decently until she dropped the bomb: "I never want to get married." Any time a woman makes that declaration, if she's serious, the relationship becomes terminally ill. It happens with increasing regularity. Now, why is it that Kat didn't want to ever get married? Why is that the case with an increasing number of men and women my age? Is it because the institution is weak? Partially. Is it because of new-think about the perpetual dynamics of relationships? Not in this case, but in some. Because she's a hippy liberal? She's an ardent Republican. She hates her parents? Nope, she's close with both. Then what in the world would cause her to never want to get married? When she was thirteen, she saw her parents marriage collapse.

"Oh," you might say, "well that's an exceptional case."

Except it's not. Not at all. I am of the generation of the children of the divorced. My parents are still together, but a number of kids have a slew of step-relatives and shuffle between two familes or, in many other cases, are missing one of their two parents. The difference is tangible. A family of friends of ours noticed as their last child got engaged that all of their in-laws came from stable families. While it's not destiny, it's not a coincidence. I can see it in my friends and lady friends that have dealt with a divorce. There is a perpetual sense in impermanence in many of them regarding relationships. The exact kind of thing Leo decries above. The sense that love is a feeling and not a commitment. What is right may not always be right and instead of working at it, they should try to find something right elsewhere. Without the role models of their parents, their perceptions of how relationships should be often become skewed.

Now some believe that marriage itself isn't important regardless of personal experience and that's fine. Others lament the fall of the family while they've done their own damage against the institution. The enemies of the family are not Andrew Sullivan and Howard Dean, but rather Newt Gingrich and Tim Hutchinson. Countless Democrats and Republicans that preach a fair game about marriage while walking off the field in their own personal lives. It isn't because of gay marriage that will make my generation the least married in history, but the absense of positive example in many of our lives.

But what can be done about this? On a policy level, very little should be done. Should we only elect undivorced public officials to set an example? Of course not. Divorce comes in all shapes and sizes, many justifiable and many selfish. The problem is that it can't be tackled as a national effort to save the institution, because marriage isn't a national institution. It's an institution of two. That can be very hard for people (even myself) to grasp. We can make marriage more difficult to enter, but then many will forego the entire process rather than jump through the hoops. That'll hardly help. We can make divorce more difficult, but then those that need to leave quietly into the night for their safety will then be forced to spend a six month waiting period with their abusive partners. Make an exception for abusive situation and watch erroneous reports of abuse skyrocket (already happens in custody battles).

This is something we can only solve one couple at a time. Through churches and social institutions to try to make sure that engaged couples know what they're getting into and divorce counsellers that respect the institution of marriage even as they direct some couples out of it. There is no national initiative to be had. Look after your own.

Someone once asked in defense of marriage if 18 years of your life in a less-than-ideal marriage is really too much to ask for the well-being of your children. How do you answer that question and what do your answers say about you?

A friend of mine whose parents got an annulment when he was twenty or so quipped that he was now retro-actively a bastard (a Catholic annulment states that the marriage never happened before the eyes of God). In a sense, that's what's happening to a lot of us. Not bastards in the traditional sense, but in the working sense it's still applicable.

If you want to know what's wrong with marriage today, look and not how to keep the marriage a heterosexual club.

[Link via Unbillable Hours]
Posted to Sex and Consequences with No observations
 
Changing Channels (or The Debate So Far)
R. Alex Whitlock
Trent Lott: ... and we wouldn't have all these problems if he'd won!

[flip]

Joshua Marshall: Trent Lott's disgraceful comments...

[flip]

Atrios: This is precisely what Lott was endorsing...

[flip]

Andrew Sullivan: Lott's comments were disgusting...

[flip]

Glenn Reynolds: Lott deserves the grief he's getting...

[flip]

Wall Street Journal: This is an outrage!

[flip]

John Cole: I don't think Lott's comments were necessarily racist, but his comments...

[flip]

KosDaily: ... longing for the "good old days"...

[flip]

Oliver Willis: The good old days weren't exactly good for all of us. White only diners, for instance...

[flip]

John Cole: I just saw the tape. I take back what I said about not racist...

[flip]

R. Alex Whitlock: What the bloody hell is wrong with Trent Lott?!

[flip]

Bob Hebert: It's bigotry, and too few Republicans will stand up to it...

[flip]

Andrew Sullivan: Lott has got to go...

[flip]

Daniel Drezner: Lott can't stay...

[flip]

Jonah Goldberg: Lott has to go...

[flip]

Robert George: He has to be out yesterday...

[flip]

Julian Bond: I am particularly empathic to young Republicans, who detest this kind of...

[flip]

Prof. Jeff Cooper: I'm pleased with the condemnations from both right and left of Lott's comments...

[flip]

President Bush: Lott has apologized, and I support him as...

[flip]

John Kerry: He's apologized and I accept...

[flip]

DailyKos: I'm not sure we actually want Lott out of office. It might be advantageous if their leader was a bigot...
Commenter: To remind everyone that they're all bigots!
Commenter: ... and they miss the confederacy...
John Cole: This is ridiculous. Conservatives are the ones most denouncing their policies
Commenter: John, I know you may not be racist, but you have to admit...

[flip]

TPB, Esquire: This isn't the Republican Party I support
Commenter: You may not be racist, but you have to admit...

[flip]

Left blogger: ... you have to admit...

[flip]

Another left blogger: ... you have to admit...

[flip]

Right blogger: He said something stupid, but that doesn't mean...

[flip]

Another right blogger: This has been blown way out of proportion. He was just trying...

[flip]

Right blogger #3: We really don't have to denounce Lott until they denounce Byrd...

[flip]

Charles Kuffner: I've been saying for a long time that Lott's a racist...

[flip]

Nathan Newman: Those that oppose affirmative action are all de-facto racists...

[flip]

DailyKos Commenter: They couldn't electorally survive without the bigot vote...

[flip]

Matthew Yglesias: They could survive, but they choose to be bigots anyway. Right up to the President. That's even scarier...

[flip]

President Bush: Lott's comments were wrong and don't reflect...

[flip]

ABC News: Lott requested help from Bush's two historic high-level black appointees and was rebuffed...

[flip]

Kerry: Oh, well it's safe to condemn him now? Then condemn him I will!

[flip]

NRO Corner:
Jim Robbins: The question here is Republican refusal to protect our own...
Rod Dreher: There are matters of principal here...
Jim Robbins: If we want to be the party of principal, we'll reach the stature of the Libertarian Party...
Jonah Goldberg: I'm with Rod, but I hate how the Democrats are trying to turn this into a bludgeon against all Republicans...

[flip]

Talking Dog: Republican tax policy is racist, the drug war is racist, their entire plaform is built around bigotry...

[flip]

Houston Chronicle: Possible Lott replacement Senator Nickles has a nearly identical voting record, right down to voting against Martin Luther King day...

[flip]

Joshua Marshall: John Ashcroft also spoke to the infamous CCC, which is one thing Lott is in a lot of trouble for...

[flip]

Council of Conservative Citizens: You see, what most people think was a Commandment against adultery was really aimed at something even more sinister, interracial marriage...

[flip]

Black Caucus Congressman: Well if Lott were to support affirmative action and other policies, then it might be okay...

[flip]

Trent Lott: Dear lord in heaven! If I knew it was this big of a deal I'd have grovelled sooner...

[flip]

Joshua Marshall: Republicans are just using this as a cover to oust Lott because he impedes their, shall we say, racially suspect agenda, including... school vouchers...

[flip]

Random news organization: African Americans still show support for school vouchers...

[flip]

Liberal bloggers: Nickles opposes gay rights, so he's not much better than Lott...

[flip]

R. Alex Whitlock: Republicans need to find someone without a voting history to be used against him...

[flip]

DailyKos: Why did Gore have to drop out today? He's messing with our anti-Lott vibe...

[flip]

Left bloggers: Republicans need to clean house. But they can't. Teeheeheeeeeee

[flip]

Right bloggers: I told you that if we let them crucify Lott they'd come back for more...

[flip]

Jesse Jackson: Bush's agenda looks straight ripped outta SELMA ALABAMA!!!!

[flip]

Republican Senators: This is sure hurting us. Maybe we might should possibly could maybe do something about this... maybe... quietly if possible...

[flip]

White House: We're not going to intervene in a senate matter...

[flip]

Dick Morris: The White House just wants their own man in charge...

[flip]

DailyKos: Gore's early outcry against Lott was good, but he's gone. Edwards up... Daschle down...

[flip]

Pundit: If Republicans don't take care of this, it'll hurt them...
Pundit2: The Democrats have to be rooting for the bigot because it'll help them in the long run...
Pundit: Yes, they have to get rid of him because it hurts their numbers...

[flip]

Left blogger: We can use this...

[flip]

Another left blogger: We can definitely use this...

[flip]

Right blogger: We can't let them use this...

[flip]

Analyst: So Lott's comments will have so-and-so effect in the short term. In the longer term, the forecast looks like it will favor... if he resigns then the race for Senate Majority Leader looks like it will be...

[flip]

Strom Thurmond: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[flip]

Trent Lott: My people have SINNED!

[flip]

Republican #1: Has he no shame?
Republican #2: Did he ever?
Republican #1: Yeah, but it's never hurt us this bad before...

[flip]

R. Alex Whitlock: There's been a lot of race-baiting, and it's not just the Republicans that are doing it...

[flip]

Democratic chorus: But they're worse!

[flip]

Republican chorus: No, they're worse!!

[flip]

Right blogger: Oh wonderful, now Lott is supporting affirmative action

[flip]

Left blogger: This is great! If they keep him we can use it against them. If they can him we can point out that he was the only senator that supported affirmative action. Win-win!

[flip]

Right blogger: Lose-lose... our only hope is to wait it out...

[flip]

Analyst: The race for GOP leadership is between anti-Gay Nickles, anti-McCain McConnell, and the dubious Trent Lott. Bill Frist hasn't expressed any interest...

[flip]

Left blogger: The Repugnicans are just worried about losing their senate seat and their precious majority! This is just about politics to them...

[flip]

DailyKos: So if Lott resigns from the Senate, here are our options... This could be really good for us...

[flip]

Analyst: ... and this is how it should all play out...

[click]

Silence.
Posted to Pacs n Donks with No observations
 
I Smell a Superhero Origin!
R. Alex Whitlock
While searching for car audio equipment, I happened to run across this interesting article on the rocket-belt, as used by the Rocketeer and (I think) Flash Gordon:
Today, three rocket belts are known to exist. Two are owned by Howard "Kinnie" Gibson, a daredevil and stuntman who acquired the patent on an essential part of the design.

The third belt ? whose builders claim it is the most advanced ever constructed ? has gone missing, leaving a trail of death and intrigue in its wake. One of its developers was found beaten to death in his Houston home, another is a suspect in the killing, and a third faces a possible life sentence for kidnapping the second and holding him hostage for seven days with a hood over his head.

Interesting stuff on the mysterious "missing third belt." Anyone interested in yesterday's tomorrow oughtta check it out.
Posted to Four Colors with 1 observation
 
Trent Lott Will Be Your Bestest Friend in the Whole Wide World....
R. Alex Whitlock
"I am the son of a shipyard worker from Pascagoula, Mississippi. I have had to fight all of my life and I am not stopping now," Lott declared.

Lott made the comments in an interview with ABC News between reaching out to colleagues for their support with a series of telephone calls from his state office in Pascagoula.

ARRRH! No retreat! No surrender!!

"Hello? Senator Hagel? I'll be your best bud if you help me! Please? Please?? Cherry on top? I'll relocate the Pentagon to Lincoln!! Awwww, c'mon. Alright, bye."

I am strong!! I am a fighter!!!

"Hello? Senator Jeffords? Jimmy boy! Remember when I laughed at you rejoining the party? Water under the bridge, m'boy! C'mon back. I just have one request. Hello? Hello??"

I will bow to no man!!!

"Hello? Senator Burns? Conrad ole' man. I'll be your bestest friend in the whole world if... Hello?"

-30-
Posted to Opposite of Progress with No observations
 
Let's Trade That Yugo in For a Pinto
R. Alex Whitlock
Re: Senator Nickles, would-be majority leader:
In 1983, both Lott, then in the House, and Nickles opposed a new federal holiday for the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr. Lott said the holiday would cost the government too much money and that there were other Americans "more deserving." Nickles unsuccessfully pushed alternatives to a paid holiday.

That same year both Lott and Nickles backed a Jesse Helms amendment that would have preserved the tax-exempt status of private schools, such as Bob Jones University, which then banned interracial dating. The measure was defeated.

In 1990, the two senators both voted to uphold the first President Bush's veto of legislation to amend the 1964 Civil Rights Act to ban workplace discrimination.

NEXT!

In my view, who replaces Lott is analogous to who was going to replace non-Speaker Ron Livingston in 1998. Back then, the search was on for someone - anyone! - who was conciliatory and had been faithful to his wife. Well, not anyone (experienced and competent were also required), but the search was long and wide enough that they ended up exalting a deputy whip to the Speaker's chair. That's what we need right now if this is all going to be behind us in 2004. Nickles should be a no-go. I need to know more on McConnell's record on the subject to get an opinion on that one. Frist hasn't been in politics long enough to have such a paper trail, so I remain in favor of him if he wants the job.
Posted to Opposite of Progress with No observations
 
 
Monday, December 16, 2002
You Know Trent Lott is Toast When...
R. Alex Whitlock
Dick Morris says he's not going anywhere:
If this were June, Lott might not survive. He'd have to be in Washington every day, getting hit and picked at. But it's December; everybody will leave that hateful place and go to their homes for Christmas. When they reconvene in January, Trent Lott will still be there for one good reason: The Republican senators don't want him to go.
Posted to Opposite of Progress with No observations
 
How Bureaucracy Is Born...
R. Alex Whitlock
I was just thinking to myself today as the accountant and I discussed what precisely counts as a "WHY" (an acronym) report, and a conversation I had earlier with my boss, "Someone could work 40 hours a week here just constructing the terminology that we use to cut down on discrepencies between employees. Might even be worth the cost...

Running the numbers in my head, we'd all have to speak completely different languages for it to be worth the cost. Yet, I'm sure that's someone's job somewhere...
Posted to Treadmill with No observations
 
Jimmy Shoes, RIP
R. Alex Whitlock
Jimmy shoes busted both his legs, trying to learn to fly
From a second story window, he just jumped and closed his eyes
His momma said he was crazy - he said "momma I've got to try"
Don't you know that all my heroes died
And I guess I'd rather die than fade away
-Bon Jovi "These Days"

Ahh well.

[link via Publius]
Posted to H Town with No observations
 
A Movie Waiting to Happen
R. Alex Whitlock
Bruce Willis, the dejected ex-lover scorned by a charismatic politician. Willis in one corner, Clinton in the other. Willis plays an assassin quite well. Clinton is a good actor and there were a couple sorry attempts on his life early in his presidency. It's perfect!

[via Jane via Radney]
Posted to Head of State with No observations
 
A Democratic Tax Plan I Could Support
R. Alex Whitlock
I posted this over in Greg's Opinion comments, but I think it's worthy of an entry here.
The Flatter Tax

House Minority Leader Richard Gephardt recently unveiled the broad outline of a proposal designed to flatten the income tax rate structure, lower to ten percent the marginal tax rate for most individual taxpayers and eliminate almost all exemptions, credits and preferences.
The Gephardt proposal would eliminate all itemized deductions except that for home mortgage interest. Adjustments would be permitted for alimony paid, half of self-employment tax paid, investment interest and job-related expenses, among several others. The adjustment for contributions to an IRA would be eliminated, although income earned from existing IRAs would remain tax-deferred until it was withdrawn. No deductions would be permitted for state and local taxes paid or charitable contributions. A personal exemption of $2,750 would be retained. Presumably, as under current law, taxpayers could choose either to itemize deductions or take a standard deduction of $8,350 for a married couple, $7,350 for a head of household or $5,000 for a single person.

Taxable income under the Gephardt proposal would include all forms of earned and unearned income. Employer pension contributions and fringe benefits would be fully taxed as ordinary income, as would capital gains. Municipal bond interest would be fully taxed as ordinary income.

According to the plan's author, the rate structure under the Gephardt proposal is reportedly designed so that 75 percent of all taxpayers would be subject to a 10-percent marginal rate. There are a total of five brackets: 10, 20, 26, 32 and 34 percent. The ten-percent bracket includes, for married couples, taxable income of $40,200 and less. The 34-percent bracket begins for married couples at taxable income over $264,450. Rep. Gephardt has also outlined a proposal under which a national voter referendum would be required to raise tax rates. The Gephardt proposal as recently outlined does not suggest wholesale changes to the corporate income tax. However, Rep. Gephardt has indicated that his plan would include proposals to eliminate tax preferences and subsidies for corporations.

September 8, 1995

Somehow I don't think this'll make it on his presidential election platform.
Posted to Land of the Free with No observations
 
The Urbanites Are Coming! The Suburbanites are Coming!
R. Alex Whitlock
"I can see the concrete slowly creepin'
Lord take me and mine before that comes"
-Lynyrd Skynyrd "All I Can Do is Write About It"

Fred Reed writes a thoughtful piece about where libertarian leads and how, in the end, it destroys freedom:
And so the rural character-filled county becomes another squishy suburb of pallid yups who can't put air in their own tires. The rugged rural individualists become cogs in somebody else's wheel. Their children grow up as libidinous mall monkeys drugging themselves to escape boredom. The county itself is a hideous expanse of garish low-end development . People's lives are run from afar.

What it comes to is that the self-reliant yeoman's inalienable right to dispose of his property as he sees fit (which I do not dispute) will generally lead to a developer's possession of it. The inalienable right to reproduce will result in crowding, which leads to dependency, intrusive government, and loss of local control.

I'd like to live again in Mr. Liddy's world. Unfortunately it is self-eliminating. Freedom is in the long run inconsistent with freedom, because it is inevitable exercised in ways that engender control. As a species, we just can't keep our pants up. But it was nice for a while.

He writes against libertarianism from a more interesting standpoint than most: Libertarianism destroys yeoman rurality. It reminds me a bit of what my roommate said regarding his few reservations about libertarianism: "I'm in favor of freedom, but what do big corporations suppress?" (or something to that effect). And it's a very good question. For me, it generally comes down to who I trust more and who is more accountable. For reasons that would be far too in-depth to post during the day, my answer is corporations. My belief isn't 100% (I support M$ lawsuits and don't get me started on the FCC), but to me the government should merely act as the referee of the free market game rather than the High Ruler. I believe the game has served us well and we are as well off as we are not because of the government, but because government gave private enterprise more room to succeed than any other country around.

My biggest problem with Reed's piece, though, is that it completely ignores the fact that most people like suburbia. Not everyone, but not just exiles from the city, either. The fact is that people are leaving both the cosmopolitan cities and rustic, authentic rural towns for these mass-production model homes surrounded by shopping malls.

As Colby Cosh explains:
What bothers me, I suppose, is the subliminal romanticization of a way of life that hasn't gone anywhere and is still available to anyone with the perverse gumption to go out and get it. How much of our vast continent, exactly, has been turned into suburban spiritual wasteland? Do you suppose it is as much as two, three percent of the surface area? If you want to live in the bush--and I'll put this in bold letters so it can't be missed--go there. There are plenty of Mosquito Coasts left where a man can, by and large, live free of dog licenses and zoning boards. There is always federal tyranny of various sorts to be considered, but that's not the kind Fred is talking about in his column. He's concerned with the inevitability of local tyranny. And, in fact, his account of how local tyranny comes about is not inaccurate, but at least a local tyranny can be fled. Why don't people do that? Why don't we do that, you and I and Steve and the Blowhards? Is it because we lament the loss of a way of life we're not willing for one second to participate in? I've always regarded such laments mostly as childish noise, I'm afraid.

I drive across Texas frequently and all along the way there are a lot of small towns (Columbus comes to mind, so does Hearn). Beautiful little places with a lot of history. Part of me thinks that it would be really neat to live in one of them. But hey, I want high speed Internet. I want a shopping mall. I want Best Buy and Circuit City competing for my business. I want to pick up toilet paper at WalMart at 3 in the morning just cause I can. I presently live right by a major mall in Houston, yet all I have to do is go right down the street to eat at one of those supposedly-extinct independently operated restaurants that the city would steal from the boonies as it approaches. If they exist where I live, they'll exist in "Brook Manor View" and practically anywhere. People in the suburbs have their choices as well and there are a lot of independent restaurants in Seabrook (halfway between Houston and Galveston), where I was raised.

So, if I so desire, I can either live in Houston, Seabrook, or Columbus. Fewer and fewer people are choosing Columbus these days, but you can't very well blame the free market for giving us that choice and then claim that its crushing freedom.
Posted to Land of the Free with No observations
 
Why You Should Read My Novel
R. Alex Whitlock
Something So Perfect

I don't know... maybe you shouldn't. If you're one that only enjoys novels with armored tanks or dragons, it probably won't appeal to you. Likewise, if you want something that takes place at a breakneck pace, that's not me. But what is it, though?

If there's one question I hate answering, it's "What's the novel about?" Cause the answer is always the same: It's about people. My first novel was about a man, a woman, a few other people, and a bar. The second novel is about a man, another man, a couple women, and the biggest conspiracy on Earth or anywhere else. This one is about... well, a woman, a man, and another woman. Love triangle? Not really. Romance? Tragedy? Comedy? Romanticometragedy? It's more complicated than that. At the end of the day, however I describe it, it's about people, the things that they do, and why they do them. In this case, it's about the three people below.

There are also other reasons to read it. If you're a fan of Matchbox Twenty or Counting Crows, you can try to place some of the section quotes. If you're an editor type, you can inform me of all my goof-ups. Whatever floats your boat!

If you are going to read it, I'd appreciate it if you'd let me know when you start. Then, if you don't finish it, I'd also like to know where you stopped and why (if there's a dreadfully boring section, I need to know that!). In general, the more feedback I get (positive and negative), the better it will be and the more I'll be able to take with me to bigger projects.
Posted to Between the Margins with No observations
 
 
Sunday, December 15, 2002
It Has Arrived!
R. Alex Whitlock


Outside of Seattle, those that have heard of her know her as Roz London, author of a moderately successful romance novel. Struck with writer's block, she is searching for a story. In her search, she runs across some emails from an old college friend back in Houston and contacted him. Her initial excitement soured as some of the more unpleasant memories came back to her until she decided she didn't wish to confront it anymore. By chance, she is subpoenaed back to Texas months later and, despite her best efforts, finds him at a local pub.

His name is Brad Carter and he is too distracted to notice his old friend. He is a computer programming contractor and with each passing day, more of his life becomes explained by the errant functions he battles at work. After months of trying to save his failing relationship, he's reached the end of his line. He's sacrificed everything to make the unworkable work, there is nothing left if he walks away from her, but he doesn't know what can be done.

Her name is Johanna Cianfracco, and she's always known there was something uniquely special about her and Brad. Two years ago they met, wounded hearts unable to get past their past. Things went wrong somewhere along the way, but she knows if they just try hard enough, they can save it. She's just not ready to give up quite yet.
Posted to Between the Margins with No observations
 
Every Word to Every Song
R. Alex Whitlock
I desperately needed to get out Friday night. Strangely, though, I wasn't all that hep to the idea (which, ironically, is when I usually need to go out the most). I ended up conning myself into going by taking a shower "just in case" (I'd taken one in the morning, but the day had taken its toll) and sure enough, when I came out I was ready to go do something (nothing worse than being all cleaned up with nowhere to go). I'd already missed part of the Mark David Manders show, but that was alright. The song he was singing when I got in was Don't It Make You Wanna Dance (Don't It Make You Wanna Sing)... and it did.

I won't go too far into the actual show itself, but it was definitely a winner. I missed a couple songs off his excellent new CD, but I caught most of what I wanted to hear. When the show ended, I wanted to get my Manders CDs signed. I planned to at the last show, but he usually plays right up to the 2:00 bell. This time, though, it was going to happen.

He was really pleased to see me when I walked up to him after the show. He'd seen me singing along in between beer swigs and was impressed with my knowledge of his lyrics. One of the nicer things about seeing a lot of local acts is that they notice these things. A few weeks back, Bleu Edmondson nodded and smiled in my direction a couple times. Actually being appreciated by the artists always makes a show more engaging. I told him that I'd been following him for a couple years at the advice of my brother. I'd told him this before, but he sees a lot of people and the beer had taken its toll, as evidenced by his insistence that I was not Alex, but Eric (a surprisingly common mistake, two bosses kept referring to me by that time).

He took the CDs and a couple other folks wanted to say hello to him before they left. Fair enough, it gave me the opportunity to offer a light to his phenomenally attractive fiddler. One person after another came up to MDM so I waited patiently. The barkeeps at the Firehouse were locking up and telling everyone that wasn't a member of the band they needed to go. My excuse was set, though: I couldn't leave until he gave me back my CDs. It was the first time I'd been at the bar past closing time and it was a very different kind of atmosphere. The band overdrank their gratuity so they had to buy a couple beers, so MDM gave him a CD. Hey wait, that's my CD!!

I raised my finger and he looked over and said "I gotcha taken care of!"

Whew.

We went out to his trailer to get the other CD (which is supposed to be a super-special one they send to radio stations, but I can't see any difference. He almost made the CD out to Eric, but then asked and magically transformed the E to an A. He then deemed me with the nickname "Solid" and the rest of my CDs were signed Solid (Alex) or "Alex, you're solid!" He didn't want to sign his original CD, which he doesn't care for very much, but I talked him into it. He offered me a beer from his truck and we drank and talked for a spell. I accidentally dropped one of the CDs (I was holding four and the beer). I leaned over to pick it up and out the beer went all over it. He asked me if I wanted another one.

"Are you kidding? This is a beer-drenched authentic Manders CD!"

And it is now one of the prizes of my collection.
Posted to Texas Music Revolution with No observations
 
 
Friday, December 13, 2002
Trying To Master English and Advertising at the Same Time
R. Alex Whitlock
New blogger Mr. Ad, that is. One particularly interesting ad campaign he found is centered around the concept of women literally dressed to kill.

Check it out.
Posted to Commerce with No observations
 
Why I Forsook Law School
R. Alex Whitlock
Periodically, I consider reversing the reversal of mind I had that lead me, after taking the LSAT twice, to declining going into law school.

Then I read things like this and change my mind:
One of the strangest and most wonderful things about young associates at big law firms is their seemingly infinite capacity for unhappiness. In exchange for starting salaries of $125,000 a year, they put in 17-hour days, work weekends, and leave jackets on their chair backs on Friday at midnight so it looks like they haven't gone home. They toil away on extravagantly complex cases that are, for the most part, uninteresting to them, and they do all this without complaint. They know what they bargained for, and they unfailingly uphold their end of the deal.

It just goes downhill from there...
Posted to Treadmill with No observations
 
 
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Just Call Me Britaeineey or Klebold
R. Alex Whitlock
My taste in music varies pretty wildly. One day I'm writing about a red-dirt-americana band and the next I'm listening to Ben Folds Five and then Gordon Lightfoot. One of my more guilty pleasures in recent years is Matchbox Twenty. Their new CD came out and I took a special trip to the store to buy it. They were good for my novel, I reasoned (more on that later). Anyhow, it had a couple inserts in it. One of them was special access to some feature or another on their website. Cool. The second was a hotline in case any of your friends are threatening to massacre your classmates.

Now I don't know what's worse: That the demographics are so heavily veered to high school students that this was an appropriate place for a message directed to them... or that the high school students it was directed to are friends of potential mass-murderers. Well, I guess I am a certified pariah, but still!

As if that wasn't bad enough I look for a track list to the M20 video I have playing right now (they're singing "Shame," my favorite from their first album) and I couldn't find it, but I did find this:

Customers who bought this video also bought:
'N Sync - PopOdyssey Live VHS

Shoot me now.
Posted to Culture with No observations
 
Wisdom From the IT Department
R. Alex Whitlock
The Last Page has some advice for conversing with tech people:
1. Your IT professional, in this case, me, doesn't give a good goddamn that your piece-of-shit-Radioshack-inspired printer ? AT HOME ? doesn't work. Period. So don't talk to us about it.

2. If your daughter has "met" someone named ManPie on the 'Net, someone who you think to be an Internet predator, you may want to check out some parenting classes, as opposed to giving your IT professional, or in this case ? me ? your bullshit hand-wringing woe-is-me story when I'm trying to make a decent cup of coffee out of the monkey piss that is in the break room.

3. Having problems with that AOL account at home? I don't care. Your IT professional doesn't care. So, please, just shut the fuck up!

4. Dude, gettin' yourself a Dell? I don't care. Your IT professional doesn't care. So, again, please, just shut the fuck up!

I have some I'd like to add:
5. Yes, I am aware that there are rumors circulating about an Internet e-mail tax. Personally, I think that they were started by Bigfoot. The monster, not the company.

6. I cannot in good conscience give you advice on how to upgrade a computer from 1994. Yes, I know you've read that RAM can increase the speed. Yes, yes, I know that a faster video card would he